The LORD is Yahweh, He is my Strength!

So the past few weeks have been amazing and also challenging! This adventure through the word of God has been such a blessing. I was wondering if this would be something that I would struggle to stay passionate about and diligent about... and so far I look forward to it everyday! Even through Exodus... Leviticus... and NUMBERS?! Yes, even through Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers! Even the LORD can use that to bring light into our lives!

So the challenging part has not been keeping up with it... but the challenges have been physical. I have been VERY emotional, very snappy... very tired... I think the supposed honeymoon trimester is over for me... I have really struggled to not let myself feel depressed and alone. Now do I believe this is as a result of my time spent in the word.. no, not directly.. but do I believe that Satan does not like it one bit? You bet! So between being pregnant and the battle that we as Christians take part in when we are honoring and glorifying the Lord...

Ephesians 6:12,13

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

...it truly has been an "adventure" and a challenge.

So, a few things I have been experiencing... Earlier this week I had pretty intense pain all along my lower abdomen. I would have just wrote it off as round ligament pain.. but most of the evening I felt like I kept leaking fluid... The pain passed and I did remain tender most of the evening but I told myself if it got worse THAN I would call the midwife.. or if I kept leaking then I would take the next step. One thing you may not know about me is I HATE CALLING PEOPLE ON THE PHONE!! I will be in tears over it!! Anyways... the leaking has not been an issue that I have noticed... and I have not continued to have pain in my lower abdomen. Then today at work I had another experience physically... I was getting a cramping pain all down one side of my back. If I was up and moving it was SUPER uncomfortable. If I was laying down or sitting then it was fine. It would move to my side every once in awhile but as long as it did not move to the front... I tried not to worry about it. 

Being my first pregnancy I found myself a little concerned about these things... If I am leaking amniotic fluid.. well then I want to take care of it!!! If I am starting to have contractions... I want to know so that I can figure out what to do with work! So instead of calling right away at every tinge of discomfort or weird feeling... I would pray FIRST and not run elsewhere. I have really tried to be better about lifting things up in prayer before I do anything else! My desire is for the LORD to be first in my life, so the least I can do is pray to him before I go to my midwife, my family, my friends...

In Exodus 15:24 it shows the heart of the people of Israel. "And the people GRUMBLED against Moses." Oh my friends, this is only the START of Israel's grumbling... it continues in Chapter 16! Verse 2, "Israel grumbled." Verse 7, "he has heard your grumbling against the LORD." Verse 8, "your grumbling is not against us but against the LORD." Grumble Grumble Grumble. 

Later in Exodus, verse 26, Moses tells the people "If you will diligently listen to the voice of the LORD your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes I will put none of the the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I AM the LORD, YOUR HEALER!"

Do I believe it!!? Do I live by it? Are my ears open and attentive for the LORD's voice!? Oh how you find yourself when you read through the Exodus shocked and telling yourself how ridiculous the Israelites are! They complain... they doubt... they are easily led astray... and they are just down-right impatient. I found myself reminded... "Hey Katie, they are no different from you! Maybe you think your ridiculousness is a bit more subtle... but you are still ridiculous! You doubt... you worry... and you are DEFINITELY impatient." 

In the context of these chapters... God is providing Israel food(manna) and water. The two things they were complaining about but it will not be the end of their complaining.

So I know that I need to be cautious and listening to my body for warning signs that there may be some complications in my pregnancy! I do not want to be ignorant, but I do want to fix my eyes on the LORD and trust him and seek him FIRST, knowing that he is the LORD, my healer! I am being super impatient with this pregnancy! I have so many people who are on the verge of having their babies and I find myself jealous! Granted, they have waited their turn and of course they deserve to go in that regard before I do! But November seems SO far away! I am finding myself exhausted from carrying around an extra 25 lbs already and ready to lay flat on my back and straight on my tummy! I am ready to not have nasty burps like pregnancy has brought on for me! I am ready for my back not to hurt so bad! I am ready to be done working! I am ready to stop worrying about whether she is healthy and whether we will make it through everything! I am ready... oh so ready... to hold my daughter in my arms and love on her and gaze at her beauty! I sound like an Israelite huh? They even went so far to say "For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness!" (14:12)

Do you know what Moses has to say to that? "FEAR NOT! STAND FIRM! and SEE the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today! For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The LORD will fight FOR YOU, and you have ONLY to be silent." (v.13)

I never knew how much you could learn about God through being pregnant! You learn about his Grace but you also learn that he goes before you every step of the way! He is the TRUE sustainer. He is in complete control of everything! He knows my daughter already! He loves her! He knows if we will make it! He fights for us! And we have only to be silent and to trust that he is who he says he is! I cannot go through the next 14 weeks for a minute without the LORD pressing his strength upon me and reminding me that he is my Peace and he is my Deliverer! I may be the one who physically delivers this baby... but God is the TRUE deliverer! I am so thankful for this journey through the Bible. It could not be a more fit time to do so. I am still struggling to not let the worries of pregnancy overflow my mind... but then again I am a work in progress here! Every kick I receive I see as a gift from the LORD reminding me that he is sustaining... he is working... he is going before me on this! May I learn to be silent and STOP GRUMBLING!

Exodus 15:2,6,11,13

"The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.Your right hand, O LORD, glorious in power, your right hand, O LORD, shatters the enemy. Who is like you, O LORD, among the gods? Who is like you, majestic in holiness, awesome in glorious deed, doing wonders? You have led in your steadfast love the people whom you have redeemed; you have guided them by your strength to your holy abode."