The LORD is Yahweh, He is my Strength!

So the past few weeks have been amazing and also challenging! This adventure through the word of God has been such a blessing. I was wondering if this would be something that I would struggle to stay passionate about and diligent about... and so far I look forward to it everyday! Even through Exodus... Leviticus... and NUMBERS?! Yes, even through Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers! Even the LORD can use that to bring light into our lives!

So the challenging part has not been keeping up with it... but the challenges have been physical. I have been VERY emotional, very snappy... very tired... I think the supposed honeymoon trimester is over for me... I have really struggled to not let myself feel depressed and alone. Now do I believe this is as a result of my time spent in the word.. no, not directly.. but do I believe that Satan does not like it one bit? You bet! So between being pregnant and the battle that we as Christians take part in when we are honoring and glorifying the Lord...

Ephesians 6:12,13

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

...it truly has been an "adventure" and a challenge.

So, a few things I have been experiencing... Earlier this week I had pretty intense pain all along my lower abdomen. I would have just wrote it off as round ligament pain.. but most of the evening I felt like I kept leaking fluid... The pain passed and I did remain tender most of the evening but I told myself if it got worse THAN I would call the midwife.. or if I kept leaking then I would take the next step. One thing you may not know about me is I HATE CALLING PEOPLE ON THE PHONE!! I will be in tears over it!! Anyways... the leaking has not been an issue that I have noticed... and I have not continued to have pain in my lower abdomen. Then today at work I had another experience physically... I was getting a cramping pain all down one side of my back. If I was up and moving it was SUPER uncomfortable. If I was laying down or sitting then it was fine. It would move to my side every once in awhile but as long as it did not move to the front... I tried not to worry about it. 

Being my first pregnancy I found myself a little concerned about these things... If I am leaking amniotic fluid.. well then I want to take care of it!!! If I am starting to have contractions... I want to know so that I can figure out what to do with work! So instead of calling right away at every tinge of discomfort or weird feeling... I would pray FIRST and not run elsewhere. I have really tried to be better about lifting things up in prayer before I do anything else! My desire is for the LORD to be first in my life, so the least I can do is pray to him before I go to my midwife, my family, my friends...

In Exodus 15:24 it shows the heart of the people of Israel. "And the people GRUMBLED against Moses." Oh my friends, this is only the START of Israel's grumbling... it continues in Chapter 16! Verse 2, "Israel grumbled." Verse 7, "he has heard your grumbling against the LORD." Verse 8, "your grumbling is not against us but against the LORD." Grumble Grumble Grumble. 

Later in Exodus, verse 26, Moses tells the people "If you will diligently listen to the voice of the LORD your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes I will put none of the the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I AM the LORD, YOUR HEALER!"

Do I believe it!!? Do I live by it? Are my ears open and attentive for the LORD's voice!? Oh how you find yourself when you read through the Exodus shocked and telling yourself how ridiculous the Israelites are! They complain... they doubt... they are easily led astray... and they are just down-right impatient. I found myself reminded... "Hey Katie, they are no different from you! Maybe you think your ridiculousness is a bit more subtle... but you are still ridiculous! You doubt... you worry... and you are DEFINITELY impatient." 

In the context of these chapters... God is providing Israel food(manna) and water. The two things they were complaining about but it will not be the end of their complaining.

So I know that I need to be cautious and listening to my body for warning signs that there may be some complications in my pregnancy! I do not want to be ignorant, but I do want to fix my eyes on the LORD and trust him and seek him FIRST, knowing that he is the LORD, my healer! I am being super impatient with this pregnancy! I have so many people who are on the verge of having their babies and I find myself jealous! Granted, they have waited their turn and of course they deserve to go in that regard before I do! But November seems SO far away! I am finding myself exhausted from carrying around an extra 25 lbs already and ready to lay flat on my back and straight on my tummy! I am ready to not have nasty burps like pregnancy has brought on for me! I am ready for my back not to hurt so bad! I am ready to be done working! I am ready to stop worrying about whether she is healthy and whether we will make it through everything! I am ready... oh so ready... to hold my daughter in my arms and love on her and gaze at her beauty! I sound like an Israelite huh? They even went so far to say "For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness!" (14:12)

Do you know what Moses has to say to that? "FEAR NOT! STAND FIRM! and SEE the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today! For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The LORD will fight FOR YOU, and you have ONLY to be silent." (v.13)

I never knew how much you could learn about God through being pregnant! You learn about his Grace but you also learn that he goes before you every step of the way! He is the TRUE sustainer. He is in complete control of everything! He knows my daughter already! He loves her! He knows if we will make it! He fights for us! And we have only to be silent and to trust that he is who he says he is! I cannot go through the next 14 weeks for a minute without the LORD pressing his strength upon me and reminding me that he is my Peace and he is my Deliverer! I may be the one who physically delivers this baby... but God is the TRUE deliverer! I am so thankful for this journey through the Bible. It could not be a more fit time to do so. I am still struggling to not let the worries of pregnancy overflow my mind... but then again I am a work in progress here! Every kick I receive I see as a gift from the LORD reminding me that he is sustaining... he is working... he is going before me on this! May I learn to be silent and STOP GRUMBLING!

Exodus 15:2,6,11,13

"The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.Your right hand, O LORD, glorious in power, your right hand, O LORD, shatters the enemy. Who is like you, O LORD, among the gods? Who is like you, majestic in holiness, awesome in glorious deed, doing wonders? You have led in your steadfast love the people whom you have redeemed; you have guided them by your strength to your holy abode."

Taking Advantage Of Each Day

I just want to take a moment to say... Our God is ever so faithful is he not!? If you are truly following the Lord and you look into your own life, you can not help but see how faithful he is!!

Lamentations 3:22-27

 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.

I am just amazed at how much he provides! I am currently reading through the bible and am finishing Genesis here. I am just stunned at how the Lord's provision is so evident from the very beginning. He provides Adam a helper, covering, children... You watch as the LORD's people sin and yet he provides nonetheless! Cain kills Abel and as there is certainly punishment as a result of it... you see that the LORD provides another son to Adam & Eve by the name Seth. From Seth starts an amazing lineage of men of faith!! From this line comes Noah and the Lord provides a way for Noah's family to be preserved from the flood. (These are just a few examples of God's provision.) He provides Lot a way out of Sodom when Sodom & Gomorrah are destroyed by sulfur and fire. You see it especially with Abraham and the Lord providing a son, Isaac, to him as a result of the covenant made! And then continues to provide for Abraham as he provides a ram to be offered as a sacrifice instead of his son. This of course reminds us of the sacrifice of Jesus as payment for our sin instead of us! And you just continue to see God's faithfulness through Jacob... and Joseph.. It is really encouraging to step back and see the bigger picture of scripture... that we serve a faithful God who provides for his children. As you look closer at the stories of the bible, you see that thing do not play out exactly as many of the people thought... because God had his own story-line in mind! Even when things seemed impossible... God made a way! He is a promiser by nature and he keeps every promise he makes! Maybe not exactly the way you think it should but that does not mean the promise is not kept and that he is not providing for you.

So this is what I am currently learning about God and his character as I take the next couple months to really tackle & read the whole word of God. I found myself, at 24 weeks along, wishing the days.. the weeks.. the months away... And as I look at the world that my daughter is being born into, I am reminded of the duty I have as a mother to really be prepared. No the crib is not set up, the PINK clothes are not hanging up, the diapers and the wipes are not accounted for, the blankets are not folded and ready for her to use... and no the nursery is... well its the same as it was before and it will be the same when she comes... I have not found myself very worried or busy with the THINGS the baby needs physically... but there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of what will be needed from me for the little girl emotionally, spiritually, and yes of course physically holding her and soaking up every piece of her :-)! I know that there really is so much I can do as a mom and only so much I can do to prepare to be a mom... but there are things I can be doing to prepare to be the best mom I can be. Oh the grace that I will need! I know I will fail at times to be an example to her of what it looks like to follow Christ... and I know I will fail to declare the word of God to her at times that it is necessary... but I can be making better use of each day I am given before she enters the world to try and learn now! So, that is my wish.. my plan for the next 85 days or so... to soak up the word of God and put it on my heart so that I can teach it to my daughter as the bible talks about in Deuteronomy 6

Verses 6:5-7

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them DILIGENTLY to your children, and shall talk about them when you SIT in your house, and when you WALK by the way, and when you LIE DOWN, and when you RISE.

Sounds like you have to teach these commands... ALL the time... exactly! How can I do that if I do not even know what the bible says.... if I do not have it planted in MY heart to grow and nourish and sustain my family! So I am really going to try and take advantage of the next 110 days to prepare spiritually for this little one! It is not about what I can do... but all about what the Holy Spirit is going to do in these days! I can read the word all I want but if the Holy Spirit is not working to convict, direct, encourage, instruct me as a wife... as a mother.. as a friend... than these next 85 days are done in vain! So, that is my prayer for this time... that the Lord would do his work in me! That he will reveal the weak areas of my life, the areas where sin is reigning... the places that need to be re-shaped and molded. Pray for me, will you? As I take on this challenge and opportunity! And may it encourage you as well, to re-evaluate your foundation in whatever role you are currently playing! Is it found on Jesus Christ and is this love letter written TO YOU, a part of keeping that foundation strong? Trust me! I have so failed in this area! So I am taking each day at a time... with one goal in mind!

This Is REALLY Happening!

I have been thinking a lot lately just about where the Lord has Andy and I right now! As the weeks progress in my pregnancy I am beginning to see and feel more every day! My body is continuing to change... especially now that I am apparently starting to produce what will one day sustain this little one... it is really beginning to hit me that I am going to be a mom by the close of the year! Which is nearing us ever so quickly!


Yes... Quickly! That I think is the thing that is on my mind most. I long for the weeks to go by and to be near the day that I get to hold my precious daughter (WOAH! First time I have referred to her as my daughter! A little wierd... but wonderful!). I was actually just talking to my mom today about the anticipation of her arrival! She was texting me about how when she looks at the ultrasound picture she cannot help but be overwhelmingly excited to meet her! I cannot agree more!! I so look forward to the day that I can snuggle her... smother her in kisses.. and attempt to teach her everything I know about being a female... a friend... a daughter... and most importantly & hopefully a follower of Christ! But at the same time... I am reminded of how much in the past I have wished my life away! The moments that I wished to be out of school and to finally to be in summertime! And then the moments of wishing I was out of high school... and then college. The moments I wished unemployment to be gone and to finally have a job... and then when I have a job... longing for the weekends to not have to work! Let me not forget to mention the moments that I wished my singleness would turn into being a girlfriend... fiance (even though I did not have to wait long at all to be a fiance! hehe)... and then wife... and now... a mommy! 


So, how much of this do I truly want to wish away!! I know that when she does enter this world... she is going to begin growing faster than I can soak up and I will look back on this day and wonder where it went! I am scared to watch her grow and learn... but also excited to have the honor to witness such an amazing thing! I know I will learn a lot from observing her live her life! But for now... do I have the patience to enjoy today!!!? Today is what the Lord has blessed me with!! What kind of steward am I being of this day that the Lord has given me? It is pretty convicting if you ask me! Who am I to cast aside today and tell God that this day is not important and does not have a purpose!! May I learn to cherish every kick, every pound put on(I say that lightly ;-)), every centimeter I grow to... may I celebrate what the Lord is doing TODAY! November will come faster than I can imagine... and it will quickly pass as well! And by the grace of God I will hold my daughter in 17 weeks (give or take) but for now may I cling to the moments of carrying her inside me!




Me at 23 Weeks 2 days:

22 Weeks down.. 18 More to Go!

So, just a quick update for you! Just got back from an appointment with my midwife!! Baby Girl is doing well!! Measuring right on! Her heart rate today was at around 142. We found out that everything measured right and looked perfect in the ultrasound!! Yay!! Also, my placenta is located in the front which is fine! Although... it does explain why I have not been feeling her as much now that she is not as low and is growing! I was feeling her, like I said in the previous posts, in the vaginal area and rear. I started to worry this week as I was not feeling her really at all anymore. The movements were so light in comparison to what they were, which is weird when she is getting bigger... but I have the placenta cushioning I guess! I am still feeling her.. but its pretty random. I feel kicks on the far sides of my belly! It is so weird! Hopefully one of these times Grandma Nancy will get to feel a good kick!! She has been waiting ever so patiently... I guess she will have to take it up with the boss(for now!!), her granddaughter... Earlier last week in the middle of my belly under my belly button I was feeling flips which was really neat! But not feeling those anymore... I can see movements and not feel them as well... which definitely made me think my placenta has to be in the front. So not an issue at all physically but mentally/emotionally nice to realize that is why things are the way they are!


People have been asking me if I have been collecting baby stuff and pink clothes! To be honest... I have nothing! Not really all that anxious to acquire stuff yet either! We have a crib accounted for but not present. We have her first gift she received, a blanket (shown in an earlier post). And last but not least, her first pack of cloth diapers. Yes that is right... I am going to be super ambitious and attempt to do cloth diapers... and I am pretty excited about it! When I got them in the mail I quickly text my mom to tell her that MY diapers arrived! I was reminded that the diapers are for the baby... bummer! haha! We have decided to go with the Flip System. One pack entails two covers and six inserts for just $49.95, which I find to be SUPER reasonable!! We figure we will probably need a total of 4 packs! So now that I have one because we wanted to just check them out and see if we want to go that route, we will register for the rest!

Here is what the cover looks like:

You are not able to see from this picture... but there are layers of snaps that enables you to snap the diaper to preferred size. Small, medium, or large. So I should be able to use this same cover from when we start until we potty train!


Here is a picture of the insert:

As you can see, there are creases in the insert and this enables you to fold the insert (small, medium, large) to fit the preferred size. Andy & I are thinking we will order separate newborn inserts to begin with so the diaper is not so bulky and then later use those for doubling inserts at night to prevent leaks.


Here is the structure of the diaper:





Very similar to a regular disposable diaper. Also, you can see the snaps better in this picture. Looks a bit complicated but it is really not at all!!


Here is the expected size ranges with the different snaps:



If you want to look into cloth diapering and the Flip System:


http://www.flipdiapers.com/flipsdday.php


I personally ordered mine from and recommend (I am also registering at this website because of how impressed I am with it!):


http://www.diapers.com/

Also, something for you all to be praying about is Andy and I are talking about me continuing to work until baby comes. We will see how it goes, but it will help physically with keeping me moving and in shape for when baby decides to come. It will keep me busy and not twiddling my thumbs and it will also help ease financial stuff in the mean time. So pray for wisdom for Andy and I as we try and figure out what is the best thing is to do for us and the baby in regards to work situations!

I hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July and have a wonderful week!! Yay for short work weeks!!!