Pregnancy...Gift of Grace

Being pregnant has been such a walk by faith for me... I have no control over all the things that are going on in my body... I have no control over the emotions... the not feeling so great... the collapsing at night in exhaustion... Those things are one thing to have no control over, but to not have control over the development of the precious little one who is inside me is another. Is he/she growing? Is their heart still beating? Is he/she kicking even though I can't feel it? Is this all really happening to begin with? All these questions I have found myself asking time and time again. In order for me to function properly God has really been working on my heart to trust him... to really remember who is he is as the Lord my Sustainer.. and the sustainer of my precious baby.


The Lord Upholds My Life!


Psalm 54:4
BEHOLD, God is my helper; the LORD is the UPHOLDER of my life!


Psalm 62:5-9
For God ALONE, O my soul, WAIT in SILENCE, for my HOPE is FROM him. He ONLY is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, MY REFUGE IS GOD. Trust in him AT ALL TIMES, O people; pour out your heart before him; GOD IS A REFUGE FOR US!


Psalm 63:8 
My soul CLINGS to you; your right hand UPHOLDS me!


Now I will be the first to admit to you.. that I have absolutely failed.. at clinging to the word of God like I should. It not only hurts my Father in heaven... but it hurts me SO MUCH MORE.. because I am refusing the beauty and the joy of trusting in the Lord as I should be! But.. I am a work in progress and the Lord IS AT WORK! 


So that brings me to the next thing that I have really been thinking about throughout my pregnancy thus far.. God's Grace! Throughout all my life... the accomplishments I have made were not of me.. but of the Lord. BUT with those accomplishments, it was easy for me to believe that it was because of something I did. I rode my bike without training wheels because of MY diligence.. I got on the 4.0 honor roll because of how hard I WORKED... I got that solo in choir because of the training I PUT IN to get my voice to hit those notes... I got a superior in my Vocal Assessment because of how many times I practiced that song... I graduated from high school because of my devout devotion to my studies... I made it into Northwestern College because of what a great Christan I am and how good I did on my ACT... Even with meeting Andy.. I could get caught up in the thought that I won Andy's heart because I loved the Lord... I got a supervisor position at Lifetime Fitness Child Center because of how good I am with kids and because of what a great employee I am... A lot of "I's" There huh? We do this without even consciously thinking about it.. and it is SO sinful.. it is PRIDE.


Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace


Isaiah 13:11
I will punish the world for its evil,and the wicked for their iniquity;I will put an end to the pomp of the arrogant, and lay low the pompous pride of the ruthless.


God hates pride.. he hates us finding identity in the accomplishments we may have. Anyways,  It has been kind of baffling me... because throughout the past few weeks I have been hearing some disturbing news. I know of 3 ladies... well 4 ladies who were/are expecting a child within DAYS of my due date. Most of them the day before or the day after... and only 1 of those ladies is still pregnant... You can imagine how I may of felt as this news poured in on me day after day over the past week... I was so very shocked. Not that this is always the case and not that this has anything to really do with it.. but it surprised me as I thought about it and realized that these 3 ladies that miscarried... none of them were Christians... NOT THAT THIS IS ALWAYS THE CASE. But it really got me thinking.. It was like God was saying..." this is ALL BY MY GRACE! You do not deserve this baby... there is NOTHING.. absolutely NOTHING that you have done to deserve this baby. Every beat of this baby's heart is  a result of ME, YOUR LORD, giving it to this little one. Katie... I have EVERY right to take this baby from you... if you were to miscarry... it would be well deserved. But I am a Father who desires to give GOOD gifts to his children... and this baby is such a wonderful thing! But start now.. and remember from here on out.. that this baby I am entrusting to you. Be a good steward of this little one because this little one is MINE... NOT YOURS." 


 I have NEVER been in a stage in my life where it was so clear that where I am and what I am going through is ALL by God's Grace and out of nothing I have done. This has really been teaching me so much more about what God's grace looks like. I DESERVE to be where those other ladies are... without this baby... BUT GOD has something in store for me I guess.. because I will be 14 weeks tomorrow and baby is still safe and sound...!


 I had my 2nd prenatal appointment yesterday. Baby Hentges's heart rate was 154. It was super funny because when the midwife was looking for the heartbeat... you would hear this sound... kind of like the sound a stick makes when you whip it through the air.. and she smiled at me and said to me.. that is your baby kicking.. and I could not stop laughing! I thought that was hilarious!!! It was so cool to hear the baby MOVING! So this thing inside me... even though I can not feel it is kicking and waving it's arms and who knows what! Crazy... It was also good to hear from the midwife that the chances of miscarrying now are very low. Things can ALWAYS happen.. but to hear it from someone else instead of reading it somewhere online was very reassuring. 


People have started to ask whether I am showing or not.. Well... I will let you decide for yourself :-) 

Prayer Requests:
Continue to pray for Andy as when the baby comes.. things will really change! I have a feeling this will be harder on him then me.. not that he will not love being a father and love this baby... but for a father it is such a different transition from that of a mother and I know I can do very little to help him in that transition except PRAY... So just that the Lord would be preparing his heart for that now! Also, just as him as a provider for this family. He may have some tough decisions to make in the next few weeks if the Lord should open doors.. and if he does not thats fine too. But he could use some wisdom from the Lord as to where the Lord is directing him right now. 


Pray for me as I continue to work hopefully through the summer. Pray that the Lord would reveal to me when he wants me to walk away from this job. Also, just that I would step up as a wife and be more diligent about taking care of the house and cooking meals as hopefully in the weeks to come I will start to feel better and have more energy.  Pray for us spiritually just that the Lord would be preparing our hearts and instilling in us things He wants us to be diligent with our children on. I heard a wonderful sermon on "loving the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might." Just how it is not to be separated from being a husband or wife and from being a mother or a father. Ministry is not to be separate from your children or your marriage... it all needs to be one unit. Really made me realize that I need prayer on that.. as transition can just stir things up and I really do not want to lose focus on what my life is to be about.. Jesus Christ... obeying/serving/loving him. 


Also, Andy and I are flying to Arizona on Friday to spend time with my Grandparents! Andy has YET to meet ANYONE on the Scholta side so this will be very exciting. And then we are driving a vehicle back for my dad and will be back hopefully Tuesday morning. So if you could be praying that it would be a wonderful time together as husband and wife as we will not get very many chances to do this once the baby comes and overall for safe travels!


Have a wonderful rest of the week and weekend!!! May the Lord bless you this week and reveal himself more to you as you grow in a passion and love for WHO HE IS!