It's Not Over Until...

This morning I woke up to a lot of anxiety about pregnancy. It seems that there is always something to worry about! I have had many people get all wide-eyed at me when they find out that I am almost 18 weeks along and not showing much at all... much of it is still bloated belly-ness. So, with that said... this morning I woke up and just felt so flat and panicked a little as a result of that and going from feeling the baby a ton last week to not much at all this week. I know... I know... I have heard it all.. "this is your first" or "you must have had some strong abdominal muscles" or "it is not too uncommon to go to your 20 week check-up and still not be showing much"  or "baby must have shifted a little" so as much as I want encouragement... it still does not take away the thoughts that go through a future mother's mind. You always want to know that your baby is growing as it should and developing as it should. As I was getting ready to go meet with some lovely women who love the Lord, I knew I needed to clear my head a little bit. So I opened to Psalm 145 and this is what I found myself feeding off of...


Psalm 145:13-20
 "Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures throughout all generations. [The LORD is faithful in ALL his words and kind in ALL his works] The LORD upholds ALL who are falling and raises up ALL who are bowed down. The eyes of ALL look to you, and you give them their food in DUE SEASON. You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in ALL his ways and kind in ALL his works. The LORD is NEAR to ALL who call on him, to all who call on him IN TRUTH. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them. The LORD preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy."

The Lord showed up for me this morning!! He is faithful!!

Now, I want to break this down a little bit and share with you what encouraged me the most. First off, I apologize for being so full of worry.. so it appears... and as that is a true struggle. It is not a consuming thought all the time but when it does creep up... it brings me right back to where I need to be, on my knees(or I should say... when I am humbled and let go of the sin of worry and lay it down before the Lord)!! I can choose to focus on the worry/sin or I can choose to focus on the sustainer/God of Grace!

I loved how this scripture spoke to me! It was exactly what I needed to hear from the Lord today. In verse 13 when it says "the LORD is faithful in all his words" it reminded me of God's promises to his children. Everything the LORD says he will do... he does! I can rest in his promises, I can let go of the worry that likes to consume all because of what this verse is saying! He is faithful to what he says, which the whole Bible is the word of God and so.. we can cling to every promise and every command and every lesson taught in the book! Now do I always do this.. no.. but I can strive to remember his faithfulness every day and cling to every word He gives us!


 I listened to a sermon today by Dr. James MacDonald called "Grace When I am Overwhelmed" and he is talking about Jesus and the story of Lazarus in John 11. It was another amazing way God showed up today! One thing he said that really stuck out to me is "It's not over until Jesus says it's over!" How great is that!!!  This pregnancy is not over until Jesus says it's over! This life... is not over until Jesus says it's over! Why? Because of what verse 13 says... "the LORD is faithful in all his words!" He sustains until he says his sustaining this or that is over! In regards to the story in John 11. Mary and Martha are thinking their brother's life is over and are not overly happy with Jesus but she says something else to take note of... "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. BUT EVEN NOW I KNOW that whatever you ask from God, God will give you." In the end, the power rests in the Father's hand. Its not over... until he says its over! Lazarus, I am sorry to say... you may have been in Heaven with the Father... but its not over until Jesus says its over!


In that same verse in Psalm 145, verse 13... it also says "and kind in all his works!" I try to be very careful to not read too deep into something... as far as taking one word and running with it in my own interpretation... but for the sake of what I am struggling with... the wording hit me more when it used the word "kind" instead of "faithful." Now in no way am I saying that God is not faithful in his works... because he SO is but when we are struggling to understand why things happen... it is easier to comprehend the Lord being faithful in his words and kind in his works. The word "kind" really stuck out to me... it seemed that faithful should be there but I find it interesting God says kind instead. When we do not understand why things happen and do not grasp the faithfulness of God at that time.. we still need to remember he is kind in what he is doing! It may not seem faithful... but we better not forget God's kind(even though he is kind AND faithful). When we remember he is kind in what he is doing we can not help but remember his faithfulness. Make sense? In the sermon I heard today MacDonald said "what appears unloving may be God's GREATEST kindness." See how I could be so excited about this! What the Lord was telling me early was so reaffirmed for me in this sermon!


Verse 15. "You(The LORD) give them their food in due season." God is not late or early in keeping his promises! He is right on time! When we are in the right season and food is due.. then it is given... not before... not after!


All these verses contain great wisdom and encouragement... but for time's sake I am going to move down to verse 20. "The LORD preserves all who love him!." Back in John 11, talked about in that sermon, the disciples are trying to remind Jesus that he can not go back to where Lazarus is, in Judea, because the Jews are wanting to stone him. Jesus's response was this, "Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles because the light is not in him." Simply saying this, that as long as he is in the light, in the LORD's will(which lets face it... Jesus was always in his father's will because he is perfect!!) nothing can stop him. You walk in the darkness... you will stumble... you walk in the light... you will not stumble. 


I am very blessed by a very special friend of mine, the beautiful Cassie Deputie! We have been through a lot together! And I have had the honor of watching the Lord work and refine her so much over the past 5 years or so! She is completely dependent on the Lord! Not that I am proclaiming she is perfect... but pretty dang close! (hehe I love you Man!) But there was one thing that she said to me that really has been encouraging me through this pregnancy and I have been able to use this to encourage others in different situations from mine and yet it still applies! She said "Remember, nothing touches you that had not passed through the Father's hand!" I have really been trying to remind myself of that often as I know I forget who I serve and the power He has! Is he not SO big that NOTHING can touch me that has not gone through him first!!!? Oh Praise God and his Grace! Praise Him and His faithfulness!! What would I be... what would you be... without him!!? May I NEVER know!!!!


Pray for me as I have my next appointment a week from today and will hopefully then receive my slip to FINALLY see my little one in an ultrasound!!! May all go well and may I rest in his peace instead of being anxious for the days to pass! Also, please just pray for our marriage! Just working through some things right now! :-)