Welcome To The World Josiah Ross

Wow!! Has it been a long time!!! Life with littles has kept me quite busy! Since the last time I have posted we moved into our home in the country, gained 6 goats, lost and gained a few more goats, a donkey and chickens. Also, we found out back at the end of May (in 2014) that we were expecting baby number 3.... Unexpectantly! We wanted more kid but we felt pretty maxed out with a toddler and a baby!!! My body must have had a routine set up because the age Evelyn was when I got pregnant with Valerie was the same age Valerie was when I got pregnant with baby number 3! Then on my mom's birthday, September 18th,  we found out that baby #3 was a boy!!! I felt like it was just the change of pace I needed to have a spirit of endurance for this past pregnancy. The nausea came sooner than my other pregnancies and it stuck around a whole lot longer too!! On top of it I had first trimester fatigue my whole pregnancy and I was having to make frequent trips to the Chiropractor because of siatic nerve pain and my hips would get locked up!! I figured it had to have been a boy!!!

In October, I was at the Jeremy Camp concert with my mom and younger sister, Lynsey, and I remember the name "Josiah" going through my mind during the concert. I knew the name meant, "God is healer, support" and it kind of turned me off from the name because I felt reserved in naming my child a name that implies healing!! So I kind of pushed it in the back of my mind!! My grandpa passed away in December 2013 and I really wanted to have Ross be apart of the name somehow but had not figured out what that entails.


In December, at one of my routine prenatal visits we heard an Arythmia with Baby boy and we were to set up an ultrasound with a perinatal specialist to make sure the structure of the heart was okay. This really kind of shook us up... I felt great peace at the same time though! I remember driving home from the appointment where we heard the Arythmia and over the past week leading up to that appt I had been praying that the Lord would really make it clear what name we were to give baby boy and I just knew that is where Josiah and the name "God is healer, support" came into the picture. I came home and shared this with Andy and he confirmed it as he said to me "well I guess that is that then huh?" At the same time we had been dealing with digestive issues with Andy and had been praying for the Lord to bring answers and healing in all that confusion as all tests were coming back normal. The Lord really taught us during my pregnancy with Josiah that he is the supplier of peace and that he is a true support to his people and that he has the power to heal!! So that is how we came to name our baby boy, Josiah Ross. The funny thing about my grandpa's name being the middle name is that my grandpa lived with a heart murmur until he was 95! The Lord granting us peace that Josiah's heart was going to be fine was brought out through naming him Josiah! We went the next week to have the ultrasound on Josiah and his heart checked out perfectly! If there was an Arythmia going on they were confident it would correct itself before birth but in the ultrasound they never detected an Arythmia.


In January, at my 38 week appt, we heard the Arythmia again and my midwife, with consultation from the Perinatal specialist I saw previously, wanted me to go to Ridgeview Medical Center for monitoring and ultrasound on the heart (again!) just to verify that nothing was missed at the 33 week ultrasound with the specialist. At the hospital we did hear the Arythmia but Josiah was doing just fine inside me and there was no reason to pursue getting him out early. So we moved forward in our waiting for his arrival!!! They had considered admitting me as I was having contractions every 2-4 minutes!!! My midwife had done an aggressive internal exam and figured that's what was causing all the contractions and the nurse checked me and confirmed that they were not doing anything to my cervix as it was still at 1 cm, 50% effaced. That next week, at my 39 week appt, I had not progressed at all, making it impossible that I would be induced that week. My midwife did a membrane sweep as best as she could we scheduled to see her at 39.5 weeks to do another membrane stripping. At that appt I was 1.5 cm, 60% making it possible for me to be induced at 40 weeks. I had an appt with her again the day before 40 weeks scheduled to decide on the induction or not. I had come down with a cold and was not sure I wanted to go through with it. We had an ultrasound to check baby's size and they estimated him to be 8 lbs 8 oz. We were able to see it in 4D which was a real treat!!! We could tell Josiah looked a lot like Valerie!! I asked my midwife what she would do if she were in my place and she told me she would wait for my body to be more ready as my cervix was not as soft as she was hoping to see! And she told me I could totally handle his size after Valerie so we decided to wait!!!

My due date passed and at one day overdue I lost my mucus plug. When I woke up the next day (7-7:30ish), Saturday the 7th of February (at two days over), to pink and brown discharge and crampy contractions with pressure in my pelvis every 5 minutes but nothing super intense. I had a feeling that it was the day I would meet my baby as the contractions were like no other contractions I had been feeling! So I called the midwife on call, after my mom strongly encouraged me to, at about 8:30 to see what she thought. She told me she thought I was probably in early labor and to wait until they intensified. She was a little unsure of what to think of my contractions being so close together since I had a 45 minute drive to the hospital and it was my third child. She told me if I wanted to go get checked out I could do that as well. So we called my mom out to hang out in case things got intense and just waited it out for awhile. At about 11am, Andy and I decided we would head towards the hospital since it was 45 minutes away and my contractions were still every 5 minutes apart but they were now lasting 40-50 seconds long instead of 30 seconds.

Once we got near the hospital we decided we would head right there as the contractions were getting a little more noticeable but still steady at 5 minutes. We got to the hospital and as we walked into the birthing center we met paths with my midwife who I had been seeing, which was a bit of surprise as I wasn't sure that she had been contacted since she was not on call that weekend but she was sweet enough to come in for my labor and delivery! In my 3 pregnancies I have seen at least a dozen midwives, if not more, and I finally found one I bonded with and adored! Apart of me is really sad that I don't have weekly appointments anymore because I enjoyed her so much! Anyways, my midwife checked me upon arrival to the hospital and I was 3 cm and 75-80% effaced. Shawn, my midwife, stripped my membranes and then said she would probably put me at a 4. Andy called my mom and told her I was being admitted so that she could head towards the hospital to be there for Josiah's arrival! My dad headed out and took over watching the girls at home. My mom got to the hospital around 1:30. We had just gotten settled into the room and I was getting some food in me before all the fun began! I felt like I was "faking" the whole thing... like there is no way that they should have really admitted me because it did not feel like much was going on!

Well, that thought was about to come to an end! Shawn broke my water at about 1:45pm and sent me out to walk the hall and see if we could get things moving along a little faster! I walked the hall with my mom and Andy. Andy was on the phone with his mom, Diane, to get her up to date on what was going on! He told her that he thought the baby would be here by no later than 4:30 and my mom and I just laughed at that thinking there is no way that would be the case! At about 2:30pm we headed back to room as the contractions were intensified and I felt more comfortable laboring in the comfort of my own room. I sat on the birthing ball and finished signing some admission papers. (The never ending piles of papers to sign to have a baby! Not what one wants to do when laboring...) I got to a point where I really had prepare myself when a contraction came and focus on breathing through them. At about 3pm, my midwife Shawn, checked my progression to see if I was able to start laboring in the tub. She told me I was 5 cm and 100% effaced. One of the other midwives was there as well, Renee, to observe the waterbirth because Shawn just moved here from Colorado and need to have 5 waterbirths shadowed in order to do them on her own for Ridgeview. Shawn is not new to waterbirths though, as she spent some of her time as a midwife doing home births. She actually has more experience with waterbirths than the other two midwives with Western OBGYN. Anyways, when she had told me I was only 5 cm, I thought to myself that I had at least 4 hours because thats how long it took with Valerie to go from 5 to 10. When Shawn told Renee what my progression was at, she told me later that she knew that things would be pretty swift.

I got into the birthing tub shortly after 3pm and things got very intense! I went from being able to relax inbetween contractions to being uncomfortable without relief. My mom told me later that she was afraid I was going to pass out with how deep and fast I was breathing but it was the only way I could sustain through the contractions. I remember being to the point at about 3:30pm where I did not know how much longer I could keep up with this. I kept moving around in the tub trying to get comfortable. My mom was putting a cold wash cloth on my head and neck. Then at about 3:40(ish), I felt Josiah go into the birthing canal. Which was such a sensation and one that I do not remember feeling with the girls. I told my Shawn what I was feeling and she kept saying to me relax and let him come down. So I tried to just relax as best as I could to not hold my baby back from being closer to being in my arms! At this point the nurse was not in the room and Renee was just coming in and Shawn asked me if I felt like I needed to push. I told her "Sort of" as I was not sure what was going on as things were going pretty quick! Well the next contraction came at 3:45 and without any control I started to push! Shawn did not have gloves on and had no time to worry about that... she told me that baby was crowning and the head was coming out! The second contraction came and she told me I could push the rest of his body out. And at 3:49pm, Josiah Ross Hentges entered the world! His cord was wrapped around his head twice. He had an EXTREMELY long cord my midwife said. She unwrapped his cord and placed him up on my chest. The tears rolled down my cheeks and I said with extreme joy, "I did it! I am done! He is here!!!" I could not believe how small Josiah was as I was expecting him to be about 9 lbs by this time as 3 days before his birth they estimated him to be 8.5 lbs! Well they were a full pound off as Josiah was only 7 lbs 10 oz and 19 1/4 inches long! His birth was the smoothest and best birth I have had yet! It lifted a lot of fear of birth for me and showed me what my body can do all on its own! It was a beautiful experience and I am still on cloud nine over the birth and Josiah being here! He is such a good baby and his sisters adore him! We have so enjoyed welcoming him into our family! I am grabbing every moment I can and cherishing it as I can not believe how fast it is going already! Josiah is 3 weeks old already today!! Thank you God for this precious life! Thank you for answering my prayers and pouring your grace out on this time and this whole experience!!!

35 weeks

                                                                          36 Weeks

                                                                            37 Weeks

                                                                          38 Weeks

                                                                         39 Weeks

                                                                       40 Weeks

                                                              My Son, Josiah Ross Hentges
                                                                  Born February 7th, 2015
                                                           at 3:49pm 7lb10oz 19 1/4 inches

Introducing Valerie Joy Hentges

On June 21st, 2013 at 10:37 a.m. I welcomed into the world my second daughter, Valerie Joy!

40 Weeks Along with Valerie

Here is how it all went down!

I was a week overdue and needed to go in Thursday evening for cervical rippening and was scheduled to be induced on Friday the 21st (8 days overdue.) I spent Thursday at my friend's mom's pool and quite a few people there could not believe I was out of the house... a week overdue with my 19 month old daughter. My reply was, "Well, I knew staying at home and dwelling on what I have ahead of me tomorrow is not an option and that this is way better!" I mean lets be real... who doesn't want to feel weightless when they are 41 weeks and 45 lbs heavier than normal! It was an amazing way to spend my last day carrying my little bundle of summer love! Well we made the call to the hospital at 5:45pm on Thursday and they confirmed that they did in fact have room for us and that they wanted us there by 6:30. Well we had a 45 minute drive to the hospital so we had to get going! As we went down the driveway, leaving Evelyn behind, the tears began to roll! I was so scared... and emotional. Scared of labor... scared of being a mom to two... scared of the unknown... the uncertainty! I was emotional about being induced, as I was induced two days with Evelyn! Emotional about leaving my little girl overnight for the FIRST time and not knowing how many nights it would be before I would be at home with her!! As we made our way our pastor prayed with Andy over the phone and then we prayed together as a couple! 

Well, we made it to the hospital and about an hour after we got there, so 7:30 p.m, they finally got to inserting the Cervidil to do its magic on my cervix! When we got the hospital I was 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced. We spent the night just watching movies on TV and listening to the storm rage outside. Between the contractions & the storm, I got only a couple hours of sleep! From about 1 a.m. to 3:30 a.m. I was just having uncomfortable tightening/ contractions. From then on until 6 a.m. I was having some noticeable contractions that I could still talk through but definitely had to focus on breathing and even get on my hands and knees to be more comfortable. Well the nurse who had been on duty that whole night came in and asked me "Are you noticing these contractions that you are having every 4-5 minutes?" and I replied "Yeah, they are pretty uncomfortable and I am having to breath through them." She commented that she was surprised that I was not reacting more! Well she took the Cervidil out at about 6:45 a.m. and to her surprise found that I was at 5 cm & 90% effaced. She told me she would pass this information onto the midwife and discuss whether to put me on pitocin or not but that they are going to want to get the room set up for delivery since when I did finally go into labor with Evelyn, things went pretty quick. The nurse asked if I would like to get into the tub and began to run the water. Now the tubs at Woodwinds are... phenomenal! They are so massive! With Evelyn I was having way too strong of contractions, especially in my back with being on pitocin, that I could not get comfortable in the tub! So, I was thrilled to be able to take advantage of the tub this time around! So I got in around 7 and Andy ordered me breakfast. I went all out with Belgian Waffles with Strawberries & whip cream and a side of sausage & hashbrowns! The midwife came in around 7:30-7:45 to check on me and told me to continue on with what I was doing... that Iwas doing great breathing through my contractions. Well breakfast came and right as I was finishing things were starting to get intense when the contractions came. I really had to brace myself and breath through them very carefully. At about 8:45 we decided it was time for me to get out of the tub and have the midwife check me for her first time since the nurse checked me earlier. Well to all of our surprise I was at a 7 cm & 90% effaced. The midwife recommended that we get the birthing tub filled and then she would break my water to get things going and hopefully meet this baby before noon. So the tub got filled & at about 9:15 the midwife broke my water and found my cervix was at 8 cm. Off we went to the water birthing room. I really did enjoy my experience with a water birth. I was definitely VERY uncomfortable during contractions after my water broke, which my midwife warmed me about. I went from my hands & knees to my back and repeated that for the rest of my labor. I had a cervical ring that was not wanting to go away and was making this extremely painful as Valerie was not able to get deeper into my Pelvis. Well at about 10:20ish my midwife could tell I was loosing my drive and that we really needed to work on getting baby out. She put her hand up there and pushed the cervical lip out the way and told me I needed to push. It was so unbelievably painful!! With Evelyn I had such a drive to push... my body did it on its own. I would be pushing mid-sentence but with Valerie... I had no desire to push and I felt like there was no give with baby going deeper into my pelvis. But I pushed... and screamed my head off. Andy had to point out that I was yelling "Owie! Owie! Owie!" What can I say... I talk to a 19 month old all day!!! :-) With Evelyn.. I did not make a peep... with Valerie... my throat was pretty horse when it was all said and done!! Well after multiple position changes to try and get that ring to go away... and my midwife pushing it out of the way and instructing me to push... that I had to even though I didn't want to... that we needed to get baby out... Valerie finally made her way into the world at 10:37 a.m. The words that came out my mouth as tears welled up in my eyes was... "I am done! I am finally done..." I was so relieved to be on the other side of it all... with baby in my arms!! She weighed 9 lb 1.6 oz and 21 inches long! No wonder pushing was a challenge with her!! She weighed a whole pound more than Evelyn!!! It was so weird to me how much Valerie was covered with that white, desitin-like goo... Evelyn was wiped off before she was thrown up onto my chest so it was weird to see Valerie fresh from the womb. One of the things I noticed with a water birth is that baby does not really cry in those first moments. I kept asking the midwife and nurse if she was okay because she was not crying and they told me that is a water birth baby for you! They don't cry as much!! 

 So they got me out of the tub and I walked to the bed and got ready to bond with baby as the midwife stitched me up. I had some minor surface tears around my Urethra and so they had to put a catheter in overnight to make sure they did not stitch it shut or that it wouldn't swell shut. Wouldn't that be a treat! So that was different... I tore the same spot with Evelyn but they took the catheter out right away. I was not crazy about having that in for the day but at the same time... it was nice to not have to get out of bed as your balance is so off and you are drained from the most intense workout you could ever do! Not to mention the bleeding and just the weird feeling of your pregnant belly being gone and all your organ returning to its place! Yeah.. it was nice to just stay in bed and hold my precious Valerie Joy! My first day of summer baby!

We were able to go home the next day, Saturday the 22nd, and what a relief it was to be home! We even introduced Valerie to some of our church family at the church picnic on the 23rd where we got a round of applause as we walked up to the picnic shelter! We got called crazy for being out so soon but yet amazing at the same time! Oh well! After going 8 days over my due date, we couldn't wait to show her to the world!

We are all doing well here and are overjoyed to have Valerie apart of our family! Evelyn loves being a big sister, making sure baby has her nuk, hat on, and is well rocked in her bassinet. We have had some challenges... not directly involving Valerie. Evelyn refuses her crib now but she also has a meltdown whenever it come to naptime or bedtime in her big girl bed. We have dealt with frustration from Evelyn as mommy can't get up and be wherever she wants me... as I have another baby to nurse and care for! It has been so wonderful having Andy home all week and I dread Monday when he returns and I am left with both kids. Let me tell you though... I love being a mom of two! I feel like having a first was so much harder and way more overwhelming than having two! Having a toddler keeps things interesting & fun as newborns don't do much but eat, sleep and poop but yet newborns seem so easy compared to the busyness of a toddler!

I am so abundantly blessed by the family that God has entrusted me with!! I look forward to seeing what God has in store for this family of four as we continue the process of closing on our new home in a month or so!! Lots of changes here in the Hentges household! But we could not be more thankful or excited as we start both of these journeys!

Evelyn in her big girl bed!

OR NOT!

Loving being a mom of two!!

Valerie Joy Hentges- 1 Week Old! Slow down already...

There Is A Joy That Follows Sorrow

I am sitting here wondering what I am even to say or how to put into words all that is going on in this head of mine. I guess to start here... I am currently two days shy of 39 weeks! Lets just say... I have my good days and my bad ones. My days where I am on the floor in tears because I want this baby to come and other days where I squeeze Evelyn tighter and soak up every moment hoping that baby holds off just one more day as I enjoy my sweet 18 month old without the caring for another. I went in for my 38 week appointment last Wednesday and nothing was looking too promising that baby was going to be coming anytime soon. As I sat down with her... I stated to her that I have been just downright mean and nasty lately.. and she looked at me and assured me that at the end of pregnancy most mamas get that way... As she walked out she said to me that it would not hurt to make my 41 week appointment. I refused, I want to stay as optimistic as I can that I will not have to endure many days of being overdue!

As I was on my way home... all I could do was cry! My body is doing it again... it is not cooperating... it is not contracting or preparing for this baby as I think it should! With Evelyn I was all closed up at my 40 week appointment and I just dreaded a repeat of last time! When I got home I got hit hard with a fever, body aches, and a headache. I had come down with Hand Foot Mouth from my sisters... and all of a sudden I went from get this baby out to baby stay in while we kick this thing! I am seriously on the roller coaster of my life as far as emotions go... you really don't know what Katie you are going to be faced with! So that was Wednesday and by Sunday I was finally feeling better only to have Evelyn start getting low grade fevers... and ornery! It won't go away! So Evelyn is now just coming off of it... I think she just had the weariness, low grade fevers, sore throat, and sores on her bottom. I go to bed last night and Andy turns to me and says, "I think I have a sore in my mouth... and it is not a canker sore or cold sore." GREAT! So now we wait and see if we are truly over this domino effect illness.

Being sick, uncomfortably pregnant, taking care of a busy toddler who is sick as well, a husband avoiding gluten for stomach issues, still looking for a house... it all can get to be so very overwhelming!! And my heart was pretty nasty about all of it! I DESERVE for people to feel sorry for me... I DESERVE for people to be nice to me... do I really?! Oh no... not at all! I deserve the opposite! So through the last few weeks of trying to keep my head up and finish this pregnancy out strong I could feel the pull of the Holy Spirit asking me "Katie, where is your joy? You have a house over your head... a thriving toddler... a hard working, loving husband... you have a healthy baby growing inside you... and you have food in your belly! And yet... you are still searching for joy!" I have been thinking about that a lot lately... Just where is my joy and what is the source of it!

I will come back to that thought... As I have been thinking about labor and going through it all over again... I have struggled and struggled... I have woken up in the middle of the night with my mind racing of how I am going to cope with it... I fall asleep without even realizing that I am playing scenarios in my head. No wonder I am exhausted!! So lately I have been thinking about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, as "being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground." That is my Savior... mourning over taking MY SIN (your sin) to the cross of calvary and knowing that his father would turn his back on him! It really has been mind blowing for me to think about... as I know that my hour of sorrow is coming... the hour(s) when I endure great pain in order to bring life in the end as my Savior did for me! And yet, I know that my father will not turn his back on me... that he will not leave me or forsake me during that time! It really brings a new light to the Cross and what Christ endured, to the point he would sweat blood knowing that his Father would turn his face from him!

Being sick this past week, we were not able to make it to church but I listened to my Pastor's sermon online last night and was amazed at how it fit with what the Lord has been trying to work into my heart! He spoke on John 16:16-24, the passage on how our sorrow will turn into joy! That the reason our sorrow can become joy is because of the Gospel, because of what Christ accomplished on the cross for US!

Verses 20-22 "Truly, truly, I say to you you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy. When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remember the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no will take your joy from you!"

What an amazing passage!!! Our sorrow can be turned into joy because our greatest problem, our sin, has been taken care of on the cross... that for a while we mourned, and we do mourn as we await his return, and yet our joy will be made complete! We can rest in that joy NOW because we know that we serve a God who is faithful to his promises... he is never late! I just thought this passage was just so fitting as I have 9 days left before my due date! She will come when she is ready so there is no way of really knowing when... but I hope that as I endure to the end that I continue to think about the significance of what I am enduring... and what I will experience when I hold my precious daughter in my arms! May it bring me to my knees before my Savior... clinging to him and praising him for what he went through for me! The sorrow he endured when his father turned his face away and the joy that came when defeated the grave... all on account of me!

20 Weeks

28 Weeks

33 Weeks

36 Weeks

Hentges Update (WARNING: Honest Post)

   So it has been... well... 14 weeks since I have updated on here! Crazy! I am now 32.5 weeks with Baby Girl #2! We have since sold our townhouse out of no where and are now living out in Webster, MN with the wonderful Lubinski's! We have been so blessed by them opening their basement to us and are so thankful for their generous hearts! 

   I will just be completely honest with you though... I have never been in such a battle for joy in my life!! The uncertainty of not knowing where we will be and being a half hour from my family and everything I am familiar to has been so so difficult! Everyday I have to battle my flesh and to focus on "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things!" Philippians 4:8 What a battle it is! I know this may not be the most encouraging post... but I want to share my heart with you and to record where I am at now so that I can see how the Lord uses it to prune me and to see where he leads us! Because I "remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13.

  Andy & I both are just in this awkward stage. We can't seem to kick the laziness and we both have a hard time feeling like we can really relax and spend time together and enjoy each other! It has been such an odd phenomenon! 

  We are having NO luck finding any houses right now... there is not a huge rush because we know that things are only going to get crazier in 7.5 more weeks! But we are praying hard-core that the Lord provides a home for us before baby... to at least have found a home and to be in the process of closing! It is just really discouraging to look and see what is on the market and find that nothing is out there! We sent our realtor a list of 5 houses that we wanted to look at... ALL of them had offers in on them already! Which is fine... because we know the Lord has a home out there somewhere... but the emotional roller coaster that goes with it just gets exhausting and makes us nervous to find something we like only to be left discouraged! Everyone keeps telling us "You guys are in a great place right now! You don't have a house to sell so you can jump on whatever comes about and move fast!" which is true... but it is extremely exhausting as well to not feel at home... we are missing just feeling settled and we miss our dog Samson like crazy!!! Evelyn has lost her best friend temporarily... :-(

  But I know that this truly is a great spot to be in... we are learning where we find our comfort & joy... and it is extremely convicting in that sense! This world is not our home... and we are not to feel "comfortable" here... it is just too easy in suburban America to feel that way!! So I have been reading through Deuteronomy to just really hear what Moses is telling the People in the wilderness... and it has been a great time of searching out where my heart is at... do I truly love the Lord with all my heart, soul, and mind to the point that with no home... and being so unsettled... that He is enough for me!? Is he big enough and good enough for me!? It has reminded me of his GRACE as we don't deserve ANYTHING and yet God desires to bless his children... ABUNDANTLY! When he already has through what he did on the cross for us!

Deuteronomy 8:2-10
And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.  Your clothing did not wear out on you and your foot did not swell these forty years. Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the Lord your God disciplines you. So you shall keep the commandments of the Lord your God by walking in his ways and by fearing him.  For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing out in the valleys and hills,  a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive trees and honey,  a land in which you will eat bread without scarcity, in which you will lack nothing, a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills you can dig copper.  And you shall eat and be full, and you shall bless the Lord your God for the good land he has given you.

  Our tummies are still full... our thirst is quenched... our clothes have not wore out (although they are only getting tighter ;-)) ... the Lord is taking care of us! He is guiding us in this wilderness!!! I so desire to not be like the Israelites grumbling and complaining in the wilderness but I so understand why they did...

  Also, I have this beautiful gift growing inside of me... this beautiful little girl!! And yet... I have also struggled to be joyful in this as well... as I find myself struggling for joy as a result of being terrified to go through labor again! My labor with Evelyn was so long and tedious... it was so extremely frustrating and so not want I expected/desired for labor to be like. In the end it was wonderful and beautiful and I soon forgot the heartache, pain, and frustration of it all when she was in my arms... but now I sit here looking at this belly knowing she has to come out somehow and the fear of the unknown looks me in the face again... I know this little girl is a blessing and I know she will be worth it! But being 45 minutes away from the hospital and having an almost 18 month old to think about.... its just all so overwhelming! So I pray that I test negative for Group B Strep and that the Lord gives me the grace and the strength I need to accomplish the task at hand! That my body does what God created it to do and that I do not have to be induced this time (especially for 2 days) like I did last time! I trust the Lord will give me the birth he sees fit and I need to rest in that and remember that he is the Deliverer! That he is the sustainer!! He is a good Shepherd and he will take care of me!

So, friends.. this is the real me right now! This is what the inside of my heart looks like right now and I would appreciate ALL the prayers I can get! 

May this be my heart--

Psalm 34:1
I will bless the Lord at all times;
    his praise shall continually be in my mouth.

18 Weeks! Baby Hentges #2

So today I am 18 weeks with Baby #2! I was struggling with my sin of worry over this little one last week and the Lord has been teaching me SO much about that... I am learning of the power of prayer and the peace of God that results from us laying our burdens before him instead of running around in circles, carrying them ourselves! How foolish we must look when we do that... and as a mother I cannot imagine how frustrating it must be for God to watch us do that when he wants us to lay them down before him so we don't have to carry them!! So after laying my burden down over the state of this child inside me... I have felt baby move every day since 17.5 weeks! Praise the Lord for his faithfulness and his grace when we don't deserve it! Andy even had the blessing of being able to feel baby move from the outside last night and that was just such a special moment for the both of us!!!

Philippians 4:4-7

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The verse that I have been clinging to this week as a result of my husband calling me to look at was is true and keeping me accountable to this verse! So thankful for Andy & his faithfulness to keeping me on the right path!

                                                         

18 Weeks with Baby Hentges #2

Just for comparison & for fun! 18 weeks with Evelyn Grace :-)

Never Leave You Or Forsake You!

The day before I found out I was pregnant, I shared something with by bible study ladies at church that has really been challenging to me throughout my pregnancy, especially lately. I was struggling with my desire to be a mom again! I so desired to know that my body could do what it was intended to do, yet again! We are currently going through "Idols of the Heart: Learning to Long for God Alone" by Elyse Fitzpatrick and I was convicted of my desire to have more children. Not that it is a sinful thing to have children... but it is sinful to worry about being able to have more children and that it may never happen. It is sinful to think that something else can satisfy my deepest desire besides my Father in Heaven! So I shared with the wonderful ladies that I have the privileged of being a part of, that my idol was my family and my child(ren). I have been so abundantly blessed with this little girl who God has given me to steward! But would I be content enough with the fact that the Lord has made me a mom through Evelyn or was that not enough for me? Was Evelyn not enough for me? And most importantly is God not enough for me? What Jesus accomplished on the cross... was that not enough? It should be... and MORE! Because Lord knows, I especially don't deserve that gift of grace he gave me!

As I hear of some around me losing their babies inside of them, my heart gets crushed and weighted down with emotions I did not know I could feel! I started to find myself worrying about the baby growing inside of me and started to spin into a whirl of panic! Begging God to let me feel baby move to reassure me that baby is safe and sound, flourishing inside of me! I had to remind myself that this behavior, although natural, is not healthy! That I am choosing fear over trust, control over surrender, turmoil over peace. My husband so graciously talked with me and spurred me on to remember who my God is! Asking me...Is he not big enough for you!? Is he not good enough for You!? I cannot so quickly forget that he is ENOUGH! 

As I was running an errand, I was listening to Praise FM and the song "Not For A Moment" by Meredith Andrews came on and I could not sing a line of it without tears pouring down
my face!


You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see
In the middle of it all
When I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me
Not for a moment did You forsake me

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your promise
Even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
Carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me.

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

And every step every breath you are there
Every tear every cry every prayer
In my heart at my worst
When my world falls down
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Even in the dark
Even when it's hard
You will never leave me
After all

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

This song is such an encouragement to me... that no matter what I am facing, the good and the bad, that my God, my Father in Heaven, is ever-present! Every tear we cry, every breath we take, every heartbeat... he is there.... No matter how bad a situation gets, he will not forsake us! Not even for a MOMENT! What a God we serve!!!

Deuteronomy 31:6"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Deuteronomy 31:8
"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed"
Isaiah 55:8
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD."


Joshua 1:9
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
Matthew 28:20
"And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age"
1 Chronicles 28:20
“Be strong and courageous and do it. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed, for the Lord God, even my God, is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you, until all the work for the service of the house of the Lord is finished."

As soon as I laid down my burdens at the cross and rested in my Fathers arms, the Lord answered me! He allowed me the grace to feel the baby inside me move... literally as soon as my heart was at peace and I let go of the fear... the Lord showed me his faithfulness! He did not have to and honestly should not have played into my pouting, but he was gracious enough to grant me my desire to feel the child inside me & reassure me that for today, God is sustaining and that tomorrow his mercies are new!

This promise that the Lord has given us, that he will never leave us or forsake us, is all over his word! May we rest in his promises knowing he keeps every single one of them! I know I need the promises of God!! Who doesn't in an age like we are living in... its all we have!!! Go in Peace :-)

Joyful in Hope

          So, It has been a long time since I have posted and it has been gnawing on me for awhile!!! I let life get me so busy and then the end of the day finds me before I know it! Evelyn is a year now! Already almost 13 months! She has been walking for the past month and half and it has made life quite interesting!! She is a busy girl! She is also very observant and at times it freaks me out how much she is soaking up! She will see something on TV that looks like a sign she knows and she will start signing what she thinks they are signing. She does not forget things! She knows where the dog food is located and currently she knows which ornaments on our tree will make noise when mommy is not looking! She is little copy cat too! You laugh, she laughs... you dance, she dances... you growl, she growls. She loves to just study people and figure out how, why, and what they can do! I am seeing more and more that the Lord has blessed her with a teachable spirit and I, as her mother, am starting to feel guilty that I am not nurturing that as much as I can! Her favorite activity right now is reading!! We are reading the same books over... and over... and over again! She also loves climbing stairs over... and over... and over again. 

          Evelyn is definitely keeping me busy... And things are only going to get busier in the Hentges's household because we are expecting Baby Hentges #2 in Mid-June 2013! And what a ride it has been already!! This pregnancy has been a whole lot tougher on me than my pregnancy with Evelyn. There are so many similarities but they just all seem to be heightened!! The nausea from 6 weeks to 10 weeks was pretty difficult! I did not have that so much with Evelyn, just at night, this was ALL DAY! The fatigue has definitely been affecting me more, but I am sure that is because I do not get to sleep like I did with Evelyn! I have also been getting heartburn daily for the past month or so and I do not remember getting that until much later with Evelyn. I am also starting to show a whole lot quicker too, which I know is to be expected! So I have been hanging in there for past couple months! Waiting for the relief to hit and the energy to return and the joy to fill my heart over the anticipation of baby #2.

         I will just be honest with you, I have been struggling with much guilt the last couple months. Guilt as a mom who can't give her daughter the attention and engagement she once could. Guilt as a wife as my drive to cook, clean, laundry, or even be intimate with my husband has been extremely difficult! Guilt over the thoughts and the feelings I have been wrestling with. Those being, whether pregnancy is worth it... all the sick feelings worth it... How could I feel that way over such an amazing, beautiful blessing. How could I even ask myself such a thing!? But I have... often... I have struggled to feel that I am failing my family and my walk with the Lord! If you have been following me for a while you may recall a post I wrote when pregnant with Evelyn how pregnancy is a gift of grace. Well, I am learning a whole new aspect of grace in pregnancy. The first time around it was just about God giving me a gift that I truly did not deserve, a baby, and how it is only by grace that the baby sustains and grows. This time, it is totally about God's grace on me and my inability to do it all! That even when I am struck with complete laziness or just my struggle to be a good wife and mom is completely covered by God's grace.

 2 Corinthians 12:9 

     But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.    

       How wonderful, how beautiful is the grace of God! Not that I can use that as an excuse but God does not reward me or take things from me just solely based on what I do. He is not Santa Clause... He is a sovereign God who loves his children and knows his purpose for them and their life! So it is just very interesting to me what the Lord is teaching me this time around! It is not working through the worry of the little baby growing inside me, but this time it is working through the struggle to sustain and serve my family! 

     This past week our pastor was preaching from John 14:1-3. He was spurring us on to Heaven and our anticipation of it! He stressed the fact that Heaven is not just some altered state of mind or involves us hanging out on the clouds but it is a place! It is our HOME! It will be a new heaven and earth! It is not about mansions and it is definitely not an apartment but it is a place of NO VACANCY! We do not have to worry about one day getting there and not being able enter because there is no room... we will only not enter when we are not reconciled with God. Anyways, how this connected with me was just how often I struggle to anticipate and take hope in the fact that I have a HOME in Heaven with my Savior! How the worries of the world and the darkness around me so often discourage me and where I am at. You get through an election like we just had and it can be hard to keep our head up. I found myself relating that with this current pregnancy. I have struggled to see the bigger picture, that it will be worth it! That the Lord has a plan in this!! I so often forget about the glory of Heaven and it being full of joy and splendor  I must be forgetting the little piece of heaven a newborn brings. Don't get me wrong I am excited to be able to welcome a new little one into this world! I know the Lord has a great plan in store for our family and for this little one's life! I do not wish I could change a thing!! Other than my lack-of-better-terms, poor attitude :-) The Lord has been so GOOD to Andy & I and we are truly, TRULY blessed! 

Please pray for me, that this pregnancy would be used for the glory of God! That I would take joy in all that he is doing around me and inside of me! That I would be able to serve my family as God so desire and that I will take time to glean in the LORD first and foremost!! Especially to praise and glean in the Lord with my little girl!! That her heart would too take joy in the Lord! Thank you all and it is good to be back with you all!