The LORD Who Reveals and Sanctifies!

So I am currently a few days shy of being 38 weeks along! Crazy! Baby and I are doing really well! I am surprised how much I can handle at this point! I actually forget that I am pregnant sometimes... I will be meeting with someone or randomly run into someone I know and they oh-ah over my belly and I am taken off guard and remember... oh yes... I am much bigger than I usually am!! :-)


My biggest struggle right now is my mind. It is constantly racing with all the things that are coming my way and all the things that I need to get done... soon! I am pretty sure I am never in a deep sleep and that I am constantly dreaming because I wake up flooded with thoughts again as I start my day! Praise God that he is training my body now for interrupted sleep schedule! It is pretty amazing if you ask me how much your body naturally prepares for birth and motherhood!


Even deeper into what I am struggling with, beyond the fact of my mind, I struggle to surrender something very precious to God...


      ....Time!


I am fighting off my fear of time passing. I go on Facebook, talk to a friend, or even just look around me and I am reminded how fast time goes. 


I have been asked a lot lately, "So are you just so ready for this baby to come!?" And since being done with work I can confidently say, "No... I am not!" Do I long to hold her and gaze at her and talk to her? Well of course! But am I ready to start a journey where you watch someone gain more and more independence from you as the days pass... No! NO! NO!


Yesterday I was walking and listening to a sermon by Pastor Colin Smith. To be honest, I do not even remember what the sermon was about. One thing I do remember is him talking about eternity and how it is not something that we will watch pass away but it will be... eternity! I am not really sure why or how... but God really used this to convict me of my current struggle. I am struggling so hard to hold onto the time on this earth and freaking out about how fast it is going and much worse how fast it will go that I am forfeiting my opportunity to experience joy today! For the first time God opened my eyes to see how sinful I was being. If my eyes were set upon my King and if my heart was seeking him and my life living for him... I would not be consumed with the passing of time! Instead, I would be taking each day to praise his holy name and thank him for the grace to experience the joy we are able to experience in him and also being one day closer to spending eternity with him! In eternity the passing of time will never be a concern and there will be no fear of time or aging or missing out on the joy for the day because we will be surrounded by the glory of the LORD forever and ever! May I allow God's glory to comfort me and sustain me each day! May I seek him and fix my eyes on HIM, that my eyes may be turned away from the things of this world and its offerings in order to experience the JOY God has for me... today!


Thank you LORD for revealing in me the area in my life where I am not surrendering complete control to you! Thank you LORD that I can go even further to say you not only reveal the area but you sanctify it that I may be the pure bride you desire me to be! I pray that as I enter a new stage of life that I move from the mourning to embracing of what you have each day for me as a wife and a mother. May I embrace the good and exciting days as well as the bad and stressful days! May I not let ANY moment that I have with this little girl be taken for granted as a result of focusing on how "fast" or "slow" things seem to be! When the nights are long... may I praise you! When the days are short and fleeting... may I praise you! When she grows and learns more and more how to operate on her own... may I praise you! You have given me an opportunity here... to watch another life grow GROW GROW... yes maybe too fast... but to have a better view of who YOU are as a result of watching and observing the life of a child! Amen