What A Wonderful World? Really?

Bear with me as I share my heart in a matter that may not be the most cheery go lucky... but I pray that it brings light into your life today... in a world of complete darkness. So I will start us off with TRUTH.

2 Samuel 22:28-30

"You save a humble people, but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them down. FOR YOU are my LAMP, O LORD, and my God LIGHTENS my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall."

Psalm 27:1

"The LORD is my LIGHT and my SALVATION; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the STRONGHOLD of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

Psalm 56:13

"For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the LIGHT of life."

Micah 7:8

"Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness,the LORD will be a light to me."

Ephesians 5:6-9

"Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is PLEASING to the Lord."

1 John 1:5-7

"This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.  If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin."

Sorry to just throw verses at you... but those are only a FEW examples of what the bible has to say about light. I have been finding myself asking a lot of what kind of daughter of the King am I being? Am I being a daughter of light as I should be..? I mean not that any of us is perfect and we can never master it. But I have been greatly distressed at some of the nastiness I have residing inside my own heart. And as I look at myself... and look at the world.. am I much different? 

I was at a open house for one of Andy's sisters this past Friday and was talking with someone and in passing someone said something to the person I was talking to about their friends saying stuff about Judgement Day that was "supposed" to happen on Saturday. The person said to me... "I hope the end of the world happens fast and is painless." And all I could say is "No one knows the time that it will happen.. but all I can say is there will be chaos." And as I look back on that conversation I know I FAILED! That is ALL I could say about Judgement Day... Really? I would hope I would have much more to say about it than just their will be chaos! :-(  I think this is difficult for everyone... there is always this "fear" with sharing.. but why should there be... we have a hope that is a "SURE and STEADFAST anchor of the soul" and we should be able to speak with utter boldness!

I have something some other thought that have come to mind from this whole "Judgement Day" hype. I am sure you will recognize the following song.

"What A Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom, for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

I see skies of blue, and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, dark sacred night
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces, of people going by
I see friends shaking hands, sayin', "How do you do?"
They're really sayin', "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more, than I'll ever know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Yes, I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Oh yeah

   This song seems pretty harmless, doesn't it? Peaceful almost? But years ago I remember sitting in choir in high school and my teacher talking to us about this song. She was trying to get us to sing this much more passionately than we were. I remember her saying to us... "We live is this WONDERFUL world, now lets take that and express it in the way we sing it!" She said something of that sort... but I remember just really struggling  and getting worked up over her statement. Many of my friends did not see where I was coming from at all and did not understand why I was so worked up over it. These were some of the thoughts going through my mind...  "I live in a 'wonderful' world... really... pretty sure there is a whole lot of repulsive, sickening things going on in this 'wonderful' world. How can a world where sin is reigning in the hearts of so many... be 'wonderful.'"

   Now praise God that we who have surrendered our life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ can see the beauty of his creation and say wow!! God is so good!! For me to say that Baby Hentges is not precious to me and is not a wonderful blessing would be a lie!! I praise God for all the wonderful things he has blessed me with!! I must not forget though, there are many things in this world that are not so wonderful. All you have to do is turn on the news and its in your face. You can rarely sit down and watch a movie without the ugliness of this world in your face! Overall... this world and what is in it... is not so wonderful!

  An example of how not so wonderful this world is... is the people that are looked up to and idolized! I had a friend on facebook comment on Lady Gaga's performance on Saturday Night Live... people think her act is funny... some find it repulsive as I do... but still think its funny and kind of giggle about it. It sickens me! I do not know if you know much about this lady but she is one lost and messed up soul. While Andy and I were staying in a hotel in AZ for the night a couple weeks ago... we turned on the tv to relax and one of her concerts were on. I had only heard of her but never seen what she looks like. Well, She was pretty much wearing a plastic bag (literally) with some tape over a small portion of her breast and underwear that did nothing for her... and she is speaking "hope" and "passion" into her fans. Telling them that she believes in them and that if she can be Lady Gaga they can be anything they set their minds to. Pretty great huh? She had to make a comment about an inflatable unicorn saying "Do you know whats better than a purple unicorn... a gay purple unicorn." That was enough for us. We did not have to hear or see anything more of her to know she is sick and lost. Then, to hear people I know say they think she is great and love that she stands for equality is disturbing to me... (sorry for the trail off there but for me this was a great reminder how lost this world is... people have nothing to hope in.. so they hope in someone like Lady Gaga instead of Jesus Christ... pretty sad!) 

As I continue in my pregnancy, I have many many times wondered how I could bring a child into this dark world... BUT GOD! We serve a God who is sovereign and all-powerful! There is nothing in this world that he has no control over!! Yes there is much going on in this world that is not honorable to him.. but when man chooses to sin... they choose to suffer. Maybe not now... in this world... but one day when they stand before him and are told "Away from me! I never knew you!" then they will suffer... I have been really thinking a lot about the responsibilities Andy and I have coming our way with this little life! I pray that the Lord will be changing me... molding me... shaping me even now into the mother he desires me to be to this little one! May I speak truth into this little one's life and pray for this little one as the Lord commands us in his word!

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

May I not take this command lightly... but may I also remember that the Lord is in complete control over the future of my baby! I must be obedient.. but it is the Lord who has to call my child out of darkness into light! I pray that Baby Hentges WILL be brought out of darkness into the light of God's truth.. his salvation for his children!

I apologize for the intensity and not so uplifting-ness  of my post... as it is not my intention to have your eyes on the darkness of this world... but my intention is that it may turn your eyes even more to Jesus... the "author and perfecter of our faith!" In a world of utter darkness we can cling to the hope that the King has for us! That one day he IS coming for us!! We will be permanently brought out of this world of darkness and be brought into the glorifying, marvelous light of his throne!! May we examine our eyes and see what darkness may be lingering... what things we are holding onto that need to be put before the cross... surrendered... confessed... whatever it may be.. And may we ultimately rest in the grace of our God and the hope we have! And SHARE IT!

  

Pregnancy...Gift of Grace

Being pregnant has been such a walk by faith for me... I have no control over all the things that are going on in my body... I have no control over the emotions... the not feeling so great... the collapsing at night in exhaustion... Those things are one thing to have no control over, but to not have control over the development of the precious little one who is inside me is another. Is he/she growing? Is their heart still beating? Is he/she kicking even though I can't feel it? Is this all really happening to begin with? All these questions I have found myself asking time and time again. In order for me to function properly God has really been working on my heart to trust him... to really remember who is he is as the Lord my Sustainer.. and the sustainer of my precious baby.


The Lord Upholds My Life!


Psalm 54:4
BEHOLD, God is my helper; the LORD is the UPHOLDER of my life!


Psalm 62:5-9
For God ALONE, O my soul, WAIT in SILENCE, for my HOPE is FROM him. He ONLY is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, MY REFUGE IS GOD. Trust in him AT ALL TIMES, O people; pour out your heart before him; GOD IS A REFUGE FOR US!


Psalm 63:8 
My soul CLINGS to you; your right hand UPHOLDS me!


Now I will be the first to admit to you.. that I have absolutely failed.. at clinging to the word of God like I should. It not only hurts my Father in heaven... but it hurts me SO MUCH MORE.. because I am refusing the beauty and the joy of trusting in the Lord as I should be! But.. I am a work in progress and the Lord IS AT WORK! 


So that brings me to the next thing that I have really been thinking about throughout my pregnancy thus far.. God's Grace! Throughout all my life... the accomplishments I have made were not of me.. but of the Lord. BUT with those accomplishments, it was easy for me to believe that it was because of something I did. I rode my bike without training wheels because of MY diligence.. I got on the 4.0 honor roll because of how hard I WORKED... I got that solo in choir because of the training I PUT IN to get my voice to hit those notes... I got a superior in my Vocal Assessment because of how many times I practiced that song... I graduated from high school because of my devout devotion to my studies... I made it into Northwestern College because of what a great Christan I am and how good I did on my ACT... Even with meeting Andy.. I could get caught up in the thought that I won Andy's heart because I loved the Lord... I got a supervisor position at Lifetime Fitness Child Center because of how good I am with kids and because of what a great employee I am... A lot of "I's" There huh? We do this without even consciously thinking about it.. and it is SO sinful.. it is PRIDE.


Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace


Isaiah 13:11
I will punish the world for its evil,and the wicked for their iniquity;I will put an end to the pomp of the arrogant, and lay low the pompous pride of the ruthless.


God hates pride.. he hates us finding identity in the accomplishments we may have. Anyways,  It has been kind of baffling me... because throughout the past few weeks I have been hearing some disturbing news. I know of 3 ladies... well 4 ladies who were/are expecting a child within DAYS of my due date. Most of them the day before or the day after... and only 1 of those ladies is still pregnant... You can imagine how I may of felt as this news poured in on me day after day over the past week... I was so very shocked. Not that this is always the case and not that this has anything to really do with it.. but it surprised me as I thought about it and realized that these 3 ladies that miscarried... none of them were Christians... NOT THAT THIS IS ALWAYS THE CASE. But it really got me thinking.. It was like God was saying..." this is ALL BY MY GRACE! You do not deserve this baby... there is NOTHING.. absolutely NOTHING that you have done to deserve this baby. Every beat of this baby's heart is  a result of ME, YOUR LORD, giving it to this little one. Katie... I have EVERY right to take this baby from you... if you were to miscarry... it would be well deserved. But I am a Father who desires to give GOOD gifts to his children... and this baby is such a wonderful thing! But start now.. and remember from here on out.. that this baby I am entrusting to you. Be a good steward of this little one because this little one is MINE... NOT YOURS." 


 I have NEVER been in a stage in my life where it was so clear that where I am and what I am going through is ALL by God's Grace and out of nothing I have done. This has really been teaching me so much more about what God's grace looks like. I DESERVE to be where those other ladies are... without this baby... BUT GOD has something in store for me I guess.. because I will be 14 weeks tomorrow and baby is still safe and sound...!


 I had my 2nd prenatal appointment yesterday. Baby Hentges's heart rate was 154. It was super funny because when the midwife was looking for the heartbeat... you would hear this sound... kind of like the sound a stick makes when you whip it through the air.. and she smiled at me and said to me.. that is your baby kicking.. and I could not stop laughing! I thought that was hilarious!!! It was so cool to hear the baby MOVING! So this thing inside me... even though I can not feel it is kicking and waving it's arms and who knows what! Crazy... It was also good to hear from the midwife that the chances of miscarrying now are very low. Things can ALWAYS happen.. but to hear it from someone else instead of reading it somewhere online was very reassuring. 


People have started to ask whether I am showing or not.. Well... I will let you decide for yourself :-) 

Prayer Requests:
Continue to pray for Andy as when the baby comes.. things will really change! I have a feeling this will be harder on him then me.. not that he will not love being a father and love this baby... but for a father it is such a different transition from that of a mother and I know I can do very little to help him in that transition except PRAY... So just that the Lord would be preparing his heart for that now! Also, just as him as a provider for this family. He may have some tough decisions to make in the next few weeks if the Lord should open doors.. and if he does not thats fine too. But he could use some wisdom from the Lord as to where the Lord is directing him right now. 


Pray for me as I continue to work hopefully through the summer. Pray that the Lord would reveal to me when he wants me to walk away from this job. Also, just that I would step up as a wife and be more diligent about taking care of the house and cooking meals as hopefully in the weeks to come I will start to feel better and have more energy.  Pray for us spiritually just that the Lord would be preparing our hearts and instilling in us things He wants us to be diligent with our children on. I heard a wonderful sermon on "loving the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might." Just how it is not to be separated from being a husband or wife and from being a mother or a father. Ministry is not to be separate from your children or your marriage... it all needs to be one unit. Really made me realize that I need prayer on that.. as transition can just stir things up and I really do not want to lose focus on what my life is to be about.. Jesus Christ... obeying/serving/loving him. 


Also, Andy and I are flying to Arizona on Friday to spend time with my Grandparents! Andy has YET to meet ANYONE on the Scholta side so this will be very exciting. And then we are driving a vehicle back for my dad and will be back hopefully Tuesday morning. So if you could be praying that it would be a wonderful time together as husband and wife as we will not get very many chances to do this once the baby comes and overall for safe travels!


Have a wonderful rest of the week and weekend!!! May the Lord bless you this week and reveal himself more to you as you grow in a passion and love for WHO HE IS!

Great is Your Faithfulness-- New EVERY Morning

I have been getting lots of questions as to how I am doing so I figured it was time to update! So far so good! I am just a little over 11 1/2 weeks now! It will be 12 weeks on Thursday and it feels SO good to get time under my belt! 
How am I feeling physically these days?
  At the beginning of my pregnancy it was pretty much the same every day.. I just never felt the best after I ate. The smells at work REALLY got to me.. Especially the trash in the kitchen with the coffee grounds and banana smell and not to mention the smell of spit from a guy that chews tobacco.. LOVELY! But I was hungry ALL THE TIME! To the point that it was driving Andy nuts!! Whoever said that you are not supposed to consume any extra calories in your first trimester did not have a friend in me because I just did not see how that was possible. 
  Then as weeks progressed nights became very rough for me. It would begin at the end of my work shift.. and then just escalate until 1 or 2 in the morning. I was just super nauseous and having horrible headaches! Lots of bloating and minor cramping with all thats going on in that belly of mine!! :-)       
  Now... it seems like every day is very different.. Last week I struggled with HORRIBLE headaches and finally gave into taking some Tylenol because otherwise I was in tears! But icing helps A TON too! (Thank you Lord for blessing me with a Massage Therapist friend who will give advice to me and answer all my questions and concerns!! I have just been very blessed by all the moms around me! God has just opened so many doors of friendship for me and I could not be more thankful!!) As far as nausea goes.. it seems to be completely random.. sometimes its mid afternoon.. sometimes its night.. makes it hard to know how the day is going to go as far as work but I know that the Lord will give me the strength to do what needs to be done! Thankfully so far this week, headaches have not been present much at all! As far as food goes.. I went from weeks ago.. wanting to eat all the time.. to now.. nothing sounds appealing or sits the greatest. 
  On the bright side, I still consider myself so blessed with how things are going.. sickness could always be worse and thankfully I have yet to throw up.. which I have never done well with. So thank you Lord! I will take headaches over vomiting any day! I do not deserve this pregnancy and yet the Lord has blessed me with child anyways! So I am trying to keep that in mind... because who am I to complain.. when there are so many people out there desiring what I have. I do not want to take it for granted! 

Prayer Request for physical needs--
  Just that I can serve my husband to the best of my ability to keep up with the house, preparing meals (It's hard for me to want to prepare anything when it creates mess and I can't keep up on the mess there is already... especially when I clean 6 hrs a night at work) and remember his needs as a husband from his wife to be satisfied and loved.  Also that I would be able to keep working as long as I can and that the Lord will give me the energy and the sustaining I need to do so.
  
 How am I feeling spiritually and emotionally?
   I am overall doing very well emotionally. I have not been stressed or worked up over much of anything.. especially over little things! This is all very good for Andy :-) I still struggle to trust in the well-being of the baby.. because I am not seeing or feeling anything yet (of course...) But it still has been such a wonderful journey spiritually and really seeking the Lord and his faithfulness! Again I have been blessed by so many moms to encourage me from their own experiences with the fears and joys of pregnancy! The struggle for peace has not been as big of a struggle lately.. I still wake up in the morning on my back and kind of panic.. just because my bloated belly from the night before is gone and I am briefly flooded with fears but quickly feel God's peace agian.
  The scripture that has been going through my mind a lot lately is Lamentations 3:22-26:


      The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
   his mercies never come to an end;
        they are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness.
     "The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
   "therefore I will hope in him."
       The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
   to the soul who seeks him.
      It is good that one should wait quietly
   for the salvation of the LORD.


  Every morning no matter what that day may hold in store for me... My God is faithful.. his mercies are new EVERY morning!! Great is Your Faithfulness!


Great Is Thy Faithfulness


Great is thy faithfulness, O God my father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been, Thou for ever will be
Great is thy faithfulness
Great is thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/0-9/4him/great_is_thy_faithfulness.html 
Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To thy great faithfulness, mercy and love

Great is thy faithfulness
Great is thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me
Great is thy faithfulness

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside

Great is thy faithfulness
Great is thy faithfulness
All I have needed thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me


Prayer Requests for Emotional/Spiritual needs--
  I have really been trying to get in the word more. It is kind of difficult because I do not have the stamina I had before I was pregnant to focus and be able to read for all that long. My eyes seem to be giving me some trouble.. but just that the time I do spend in the word that the Lord would really be working and refining me. I have been struggling with some internal frustrations that are very sinful just because I have such strong opinions on the matter.. and I have really been trying to let this go.. I need to control my tongue more and filter what I say... so if you could be praying for purification and freedom from the grasp my feelings and opinions are having on me I would so appreciate it! Also, just that the Lord would really be preparing me NOW to be the mom I need to be! That I would be the daughter of the King I need to be... in order to be the kind of mom I need to be :-)


Another question I have been getting A LOT is--What are you plans when the baby comes? 
  Well... I am going to work as long as I feel it is safe for baby and I.. but once I feel it is time.. I will STAY AT HOME!! I will finally do what I have always wanted to do... and that is to stay at home and raise our children! I look forward to being a homemaker to my wonderful husband... who I will be celebrating one year of marriage on Easter (April 24th)


 Prayer for future plans--
  Please pray for Andy.. as he will be taking a huge burden on as full provider of our family and not to mention leader of a wife and a baby! He has voiced to me a few times concern as to how this will all work.. and really nothing I say assures him.. and it is not really what he is looking for. He has had a lot of people voice concern on this... such as.. Well Andy what if you lose your job? What then? Can't Katie work part-time somewhere? etc.. Andy told me even before we were courting that his wife WILL BE a stay at home mom.. and so I know this is truly what he wants.. but it does not make it easy.. as the world voices its own opinion. So pray for my husband that he would hear the LORD's voice and not the world's.. that he will remember that all our basic needs WILL BE accounted for.. because we serve a faithful God. Also, pray that we will honor the Lord with our finances as we transition to one income. Thank you all for your prayers!!!


I think for now.. I do not have much more I can think of to update you on.. Our next appointment is May 3rd (2 weeks from today) so if you could be praying for that! Also.. this is kind of a fun one.. we received our first gift for Baby Hentges! It is definitely not about the gifts but it is definitely fun to be reminded that this is REALLY happening!!

Have a wonderful week!!

His Way Is Perfect

    So, I can FINALLY come out and say what has been on my heart the past month and a half. I am going to be a MOMMY!!! I am currently around 10 weeks along and Monday we went in for our first appointment! It was quite the adventure, let me to you!! I did not expect to go in and have a pap smear done, but that was one of the MANY things that was done at the appointment. I also had blood taken.. I know that is standard, but I just have to tell you it was traumatizing for me. I sat there while the lab tech took tubes and tubes of blood and I tried SO hard to hold it together... She asked me, "Are you feeling okay... you look a little green..?" I explained to her that I do not do so well with blood taken because of one bad experience. I was having cold sensations through my whole body and breaking a sweat.. She gave me a juice box and once I got up... there was a nice big wet butt mark on the chair. Oh boy...One sweaty mess walking out of there... but most importantly, and the point of this whole post is, we heard the HEARTBEAT :-) but no ultrasound :-( Not for another 10 weeks or so...
     But what a sweet sweet sound that is! I am sure all you mothers out there know EXACTLY what I am talking about!! After weeks and WEEKS of wondering if this is all real... it was nice to see evidence. I just have to say... I NEVER realized how much pregnancy is a faith thing.. It takes A LOT of faith to be pregnant. You have trust there is something there, that God is sustaining that life... you don't see the baby until its born.. so the whole time throughout your pregnancy you have to just TRUST that it is there. Now I know once I start showing and feeling the baby... it will not be as big of a faith thing.. but still! You can do very little to protect your little one.. at least that is how I have been feeling. So I do have to say that this stage in my life (pregnancy) has taken more of resting in the promises than any other stage in my life!


This is a journal entry that I wrote weeks ago about how we went about finding out and the Lord's leading in this:

What a crazy last few weeks for Andy and I! We just found out Saturday February 26th, that we will be expecting our first child!!! Andy and I felt that the Lord was telling us earlier in February that it is time for us to open up the possibility of that for us.. well pretty sure it happened... the day we felt lead.. so this is such a God thing!! Actually, on Monday the 21st I took two pregnancy tests, one came back with a faint line(generic brand) and the other(name brand) came back negative.. It was still early and I had a complete peace about it. I felt the Lord just easing my spirit into Him and trusting his PERFECT timing. Well Friday came around and my lovely husband insisted I try again (like a kid on Christmas morning hehe!) faint line again (generic). So I wrote it off again as a no go.. Andy on the other hand.. All he needed was two tests with a faint line to tell him he was going to be a daddy... but I needed more convincing. So Saturday morning when I woke up I tested right away... instant positive.. I just slowly walked to the bedroom in a daze... and nudged Andy and handed it to him.. Completely enough for him... Me on the other hand... not enough.. STILL.. What is a my problem!!? I told him "I am convinced that this stick is lying!" Now do not get me wrong... I definitely wanted to be pregnant.. but I did not want to get my hopes up in case it was not true. Well I came to terms with it and finally felt the joy that is to be felt when one gets these kinds of results..  :-) ... But Sunday came around... and after a baby shower.. I had to stop at target for ONE LAST TEST... instant positive! :-)

Well, I have to be honest with you all.. it is still a struggle for me.. I really do not have any idea why... Its like.. everyday I want to take another test just to see if it is true! I do not want to experience... the pain of miscarrying.. Time and time again.. from my husband, mom, friends, and grandmother have been instructed that I need to just LET THAT GO!! ENJOY THIS!

The ridiculous thing is... I have the signs... sore chest, some minor cramping, tender abdomen, frequent urination, tired... so why is it I am struggling so much with this.. Do I not trust that I serve a just and faithful God who desires to give good gifts to his children.. And even in those moments when he takes things away from us... it is for OUR good.. but MOST IMPORTANTLY for his Glory! I have been asking people for prayer on this issue.. as well as praying hardcore about it myself.

So for now... The Lord is really putting me through a refining process through patience.. I must wait until April 4^th for our first appointment and hopefully then I will have more peace in believing that there is truly a little baby growing inside me :-) 

On my way to my first prenatal appointment I needed some peace going in there.. So I found myself in Psalm 18. In verses 28-30 I  found that peace I needed. 

 Psalm 18:28-30

For it is you who light my lamp;
   the LORD my God lightens my darkness.
For by you I can run against a troop,
   and by my God I can leap over a wall.
This God—his way is perfect;
   the word of the LORD proves true;
   he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

I went in knowing that whatever the outcome was that the Lord is my LIGHT and that whatever darkness I find myself in.. he will lighten it! With the help of my Father there is no wall that can stand in the way of what he has in store for me.. HIS WAY IS PERFECT and his word is TRUE! In him.. and in him ONLY do I find refuge. Andy and I are very excited for what is in store for us! We praise him for his mercy and his grace as we KNOW that we do not deserve such an amazing blessing! BUT GOD has something he wants to do with this little one in our life and we could not be more thrilled!

There is Power in the Word and Prayer but Did I Mention HYMNS?

We know as followers of Christ that there is great power in the Word of God and prayer... but just recently I have discovered so much joy through hymns! At first I was concerned that I was putting too much of a focus on it because the Word needs to be our ultimate place to find refuge and strength in the Lord because we need TRUTH! We need that sword that the Word of God is, to keep fixed on what the Lord would have us focus on.. but anyways as I really sought this out whether I should be putting such a focus on hymns.. I discovered what a tool it was with Paul! I have a lot of respect for Paul as a follower of Christ... because he was such a man of truth!! Which is seems to be something that the Lord has put on Andy's and my own heart to really keep people accountable to TRUTH! But who knew that something Paul was also passionate about... hymns.. would have such healing power in my soul!

Acts 16:25,26
 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s bonds were unfastened.

Ephesians 5:19,20
Addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Colossians 3:15-17
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I can not go into great detail at this time.. but hopefully SOON; As to what has really been going on in my heart the past month and half but have not felt that the Lord has put it on my heart to share at this point. I do though, ask that you be praying for me (and Andy :-)) As life can throw curve balls sometimes and that whatever happens that we would seek the Lord with ALL our hearts and that we would find our strength and our refuge solely in him!! Me more than Andy at this time.. I need peace and more importantly to trust in the Lord and his promises! Please pray for the Lord's sovereign hand over our life!

So currently I am working in Eden Prarie cleaning a building (MAC Philantrophies) and so I get SO MUCH time to think, pray(as long as I do not get sidetracked.. as I move fast past through this building), listen, and... SING! Now I am not sure if anyone has heard me in this building.. most of the time while I am there.. there is maybe a handful of people there.. but I do not really care! Let me tell you though.. the acoustics in the bathroom.. are.. AMAZING :-)  But I catch myself so often getting stressed or worried or thinking too far into things (analyzing possible bad outcomes) and I come to a point where I feel like I am spinning.. and then.. I sing! I have pandora on my ipod and I have a station called "Hymns 4 worship!" Absolutely.. wonderful! And the Lord has used it in so many powerful ways to combat the fears and the worries that creep on me.. When I am not in a position to sit in the word and feed off truth! On facebook I explained hymns have such an intimacy that makes me feel like I am dancing with God. How beautiful is that picture! Fear is wrapping its nasty arms around you... doubt is flooding your mind.. worries are eating at your peace and ability to think straight.. and then... our Father in heaven.. extends his arm out and dances with you.. so intimately.. allowing you to cast all your fears, doubts, worries.. and be reminded of who you serve.. An ALMIGHTY, INFINITE, ALL-POWERFUL, and INTIMATE GOD!

Here are a few Hymns that I have found such peace in...

How Great Thou Art
O Lord my God,
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all
The works Thy Hand hath made,
I see the stars,
I hear the mighty thunder,
Thy pow'r throughout
The universe displayed;
 
When through the woods
And forest glades I wander
I hear the birds
Sing sweetly in the trees;
When I look down
From lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook
And feel the gentle breeze;
Then sings my soul,
My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art! 
 
When Christ shall come,
With shouts of acclamation,
And take me home,
What joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow
In humble adoration
And there proclaim,
"My God, how great Thou art!"
Then sings my soul,
My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Then sings my soul,
My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
I Need Thee Every Hour

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
O I need Thee every hour;
I need you Lord, O bless me now,
My Savior, I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is vain
I need Thee every hour, teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son

I need Thee every hour,
I need Thee every hour,
I need Thee every hour,
I need Thee every hour.

There are so MANY more wonderful hymns! I would post them ALL for you.. but that would be too much :-) But it has been so neat.. because I had a friend that was struggling to trust God's leading in her life.. and I told her just how sometimes it can be so hard to work through that struggle to trust.. in the Word and in prayer.. and that singing praise can be such a powerful thing. DO NOT GET ME WRONG! We has followers of Christ need to be soaking up the Word of God and applying it and being in prayer and supplication AND thanksgiving! At times, at least for me.. I need to clear my head of all that is weighing down on me in order for me to be refined through God's word. It's like it tears down the walls to get your eyes to where they need to be so that you can work on he issue through the time spent in the word and in prayer! But she was just so encouraged and comforted by listening to Hymns.. so it was great to see that this could  be so impactful in others lives in their relationship with our Savior! Have a wonderful weekend! And it's good to be back blogging again! :-)

The Promises Tested

I have been under a great weight the past few weeks... really for no reason. Completely self-inflicted actually.. The Lord has really been refining me and working on getting me to trust him more and to have A LOT MORE patience. When it comes down to it... do I TRULY believe that God is always with me.. that he is always in control.. and that he is ALWAYS good? I do.. but there are times that I find myself wrestling with God on what he is doing in my life... or.. sometimes even what he is not doing and sometimes.. as silly as it is.. the what ifs of life. For me lately.. I am not struggling with the present... I am struggling with the future.. what may become of situations. Will it play out like I hope and dream... and I find myself worrying that the worst thing will happen with no evidence of that being direction taken at this point in time.

 Some scripture that I have been having go through my mind constantly to combat this thorn I have in my life of doubting and anxiety are...

 Philippians 4:4-8

    Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord IS AT HAND; DO NOT be anxious about ANYTHING, but in EVERYTHING by prayer and supplication WITH THANKSGIVING let your requests be make known to God. And the peace of God hich surpasses ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind IN Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS.

Psalm 27:13,14

     I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; WAIT FOR THE LORD!

Matthew 6:33,34

    But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. THEREFORE do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 7:11

   If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, HOW MUCH MORE will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

I know that whatever the Lord does, he will do for his glory and my good. All the Lord wants from me is obedience, not to mention surrendering of the burdens I carry. I find myself ever too often.. thinking I know what is best... but how could I! My Father in heaven is the Alpha and Omega (Rev 1:8) He is ALL-KNOWING!

 What a great verse this is! May it encourage you in whatever you are facing--> Isaiah 46:9,10- "REMEMBER THIS and STAND FIRM, RECALL IT TO MIND, you transgressors, remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I WILL accomplish ALL my purpose!"

Always True

Well, here goes my journey with blogging...

    So, if anyone has talked to me lately and asked about what the LORD has been teaching me.. the first thing that probably comes out of my mouth is "The Promises!" I don't know if you have heard of Dr. James MacDonald but his ministry with Walk in the Word has kicked me in the rear quite a few times. God has put me in a workforce where as I work I listen to A LOT of sermons and recently went through one on this book. With where I am at in life I feel like I am on some sort of timer.. I have felt consumed with where is the LORD leading Andy and I as far as endeavors go. LORD, are you wanting us to start a family now or wait. Do you want us to invest here or there. And sometimes life just feels like it is holding a stop watch in front of your face, implying you need to do it now or never. If we do not figure the career out now.. we will NEVER find it. If we do not get pregnant now.. we will NEVER have children.. if we do not invest now.. we will have NEVER feel set financially. 

   These are just a few lies that Satan likes to feed. Lately at my church, Hope Church, we have been studying the fall in Genesis 3.. it is all pretty ironic when you REALLY look into it. Satan via the serpent asks the FIRST question in the bible "Did God really say..." He plants doubt in Eve of the intentions of our Heavenly Father who knows best! Know EVERYTHING! Doubt is such a deadly thing... Satan likes to feed into our minds this idea that we know better than God.. that he did not really say this or that.. In Matthew 4, Satan tries to tempt Jesus... messing with the Word of God.. trying to bring across something that God did not really say.. What did Jesus do? He fought it with TRUTH. He clung to what His Father said! That is what these promises help you to do!

                    

James 1:6,7--"For the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person MUST NOT suppose that he will receive ANYTHING from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, UNSTABLE in ALL his ways."

The definition for doubt in this book is "a lack of confidence or assurance that God will keep His promises. That has been something that has choked SO much joy in my life. Simply doubting God. It is something that I hear from my closest loved ones... when they are in there moments of darkness... and they are in a world-wind of confusion... lacking the confidence that the God who loves his children.. who created us.. will not keep His promises...

Proverbs 3:5-6--"TRUST in the Lord with ALL your heart, and DO NOT lean on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

If we are leaning on our Savior.. our Maker... and NOT on ourselves... he will lead.. He will Shepherd us! He will protect us and lead us to the pasture he sees fit for us! Oh how I need to be reminded DAILY... every MINUTE, that I am but a sheep! Who thinks that it know what is best and in the end gets lead astray.. instead of remaining in the comforting arms of my Shepherd.

In this book MacDonald discussing 5 key promises to hold onto with verses tied to them. Time and time again I catch myself repeating them.. reminding me where to fix my eyes.. on my Lord! Because He is always WITH ME! Always IN CONTROL! Always GOOD! Always WATCHING! And always VICTORIOUS. I have no reason to fear, doubt, despair, falter, or fail! 

Psalm 73:25--"Whom have I in heaven BUT YOU? And there is NOTHING on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion FOREVER."