The LORD is Yahweh, He is my Strength!

So the past few weeks have been amazing and also challenging! This adventure through the word of God has been such a blessing. I was wondering if this would be something that I would struggle to stay passionate about and diligent about... and so far I look forward to it everyday! Even through Exodus... Leviticus... and NUMBERS?! Yes, even through Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers! Even the LORD can use that to bring light into our lives!

So the challenging part has not been keeping up with it... but the challenges have been physical. I have been VERY emotional, very snappy... very tired... I think the supposed honeymoon trimester is over for me... I have really struggled to not let myself feel depressed and alone. Now do I believe this is as a result of my time spent in the word.. no, not directly.. but do I believe that Satan does not like it one bit? You bet! So between being pregnant and the battle that we as Christians take part in when we are honoring and glorifying the Lord...

Ephesians 6:12,13

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

...it truly has been an "adventure" and a challenge.

So, a few things I have been experiencing... Earlier this week I had pretty intense pain all along my lower abdomen. I would have just wrote it off as round ligament pain.. but most of the evening I felt like I kept leaking fluid... The pain passed and I did remain tender most of the evening but I told myself if it got worse THAN I would call the midwife.. or if I kept leaking then I would take the next step. One thing you may not know about me is I HATE CALLING PEOPLE ON THE PHONE!! I will be in tears over it!! Anyways... the leaking has not been an issue that I have noticed... and I have not continued to have pain in my lower abdomen. Then today at work I had another experience physically... I was getting a cramping pain all down one side of my back. If I was up and moving it was SUPER uncomfortable. If I was laying down or sitting then it was fine. It would move to my side every once in awhile but as long as it did not move to the front... I tried not to worry about it. 

Being my first pregnancy I found myself a little concerned about these things... If I am leaking amniotic fluid.. well then I want to take care of it!!! If I am starting to have contractions... I want to know so that I can figure out what to do with work! So instead of calling right away at every tinge of discomfort or weird feeling... I would pray FIRST and not run elsewhere. I have really tried to be better about lifting things up in prayer before I do anything else! My desire is for the LORD to be first in my life, so the least I can do is pray to him before I go to my midwife, my family, my friends...

In Exodus 15:24 it shows the heart of the people of Israel. "And the people GRUMBLED against Moses." Oh my friends, this is only the START of Israel's grumbling... it continues in Chapter 16! Verse 2, "Israel grumbled." Verse 7, "he has heard your grumbling against the LORD." Verse 8, "your grumbling is not against us but against the LORD." Grumble Grumble Grumble. 

Later in Exodus, verse 26, Moses tells the people "If you will diligently listen to the voice of the LORD your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes I will put none of the the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I AM the LORD, YOUR HEALER!"

Do I believe it!!? Do I live by it? Are my ears open and attentive for the LORD's voice!? Oh how you find yourself when you read through the Exodus shocked and telling yourself how ridiculous the Israelites are! They complain... they doubt... they are easily led astray... and they are just down-right impatient. I found myself reminded... "Hey Katie, they are no different from you! Maybe you think your ridiculousness is a bit more subtle... but you are still ridiculous! You doubt... you worry... and you are DEFINITELY impatient." 

In the context of these chapters... God is providing Israel food(manna) and water. The two things they were complaining about but it will not be the end of their complaining.

So I know that I need to be cautious and listening to my body for warning signs that there may be some complications in my pregnancy! I do not want to be ignorant, but I do want to fix my eyes on the LORD and trust him and seek him FIRST, knowing that he is the LORD, my healer! I am being super impatient with this pregnancy! I have so many people who are on the verge of having their babies and I find myself jealous! Granted, they have waited their turn and of course they deserve to go in that regard before I do! But November seems SO far away! I am finding myself exhausted from carrying around an extra 25 lbs already and ready to lay flat on my back and straight on my tummy! I am ready to not have nasty burps like pregnancy has brought on for me! I am ready for my back not to hurt so bad! I am ready to be done working! I am ready to stop worrying about whether she is healthy and whether we will make it through everything! I am ready... oh so ready... to hold my daughter in my arms and love on her and gaze at her beauty! I sound like an Israelite huh? They even went so far to say "For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness!" (14:12)

Do you know what Moses has to say to that? "FEAR NOT! STAND FIRM! and SEE the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today! For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The LORD will fight FOR YOU, and you have ONLY to be silent." (v.13)

I never knew how much you could learn about God through being pregnant! You learn about his Grace but you also learn that he goes before you every step of the way! He is the TRUE sustainer. He is in complete control of everything! He knows my daughter already! He loves her! He knows if we will make it! He fights for us! And we have only to be silent and to trust that he is who he says he is! I cannot go through the next 14 weeks for a minute without the LORD pressing his strength upon me and reminding me that he is my Peace and he is my Deliverer! I may be the one who physically delivers this baby... but God is the TRUE deliverer! I am so thankful for this journey through the Bible. It could not be a more fit time to do so. I am still struggling to not let the worries of pregnancy overflow my mind... but then again I am a work in progress here! Every kick I receive I see as a gift from the LORD reminding me that he is sustaining... he is working... he is going before me on this! May I learn to be silent and STOP GRUMBLING!

Exodus 15:2,6,11,13

"The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.Your right hand, O LORD, glorious in power, your right hand, O LORD, shatters the enemy. Who is like you, O LORD, among the gods? Who is like you, majestic in holiness, awesome in glorious deed, doing wonders? You have led in your steadfast love the people whom you have redeemed; you have guided them by your strength to your holy abode."

Taking Advantage Of Each Day

I just want to take a moment to say... Our God is ever so faithful is he not!? If you are truly following the Lord and you look into your own life, you can not help but see how faithful he is!!

Lamentations 3:22-27

 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.

I am just amazed at how much he provides! I am currently reading through the bible and am finishing Genesis here. I am just stunned at how the Lord's provision is so evident from the very beginning. He provides Adam a helper, covering, children... You watch as the LORD's people sin and yet he provides nonetheless! Cain kills Abel and as there is certainly punishment as a result of it... you see that the LORD provides another son to Adam & Eve by the name Seth. From Seth starts an amazing lineage of men of faith!! From this line comes Noah and the Lord provides a way for Noah's family to be preserved from the flood. (These are just a few examples of God's provision.) He provides Lot a way out of Sodom when Sodom & Gomorrah are destroyed by sulfur and fire. You see it especially with Abraham and the Lord providing a son, Isaac, to him as a result of the covenant made! And then continues to provide for Abraham as he provides a ram to be offered as a sacrifice instead of his son. This of course reminds us of the sacrifice of Jesus as payment for our sin instead of us! And you just continue to see God's faithfulness through Jacob... and Joseph.. It is really encouraging to step back and see the bigger picture of scripture... that we serve a faithful God who provides for his children. As you look closer at the stories of the bible, you see that thing do not play out exactly as many of the people thought... because God had his own story-line in mind! Even when things seemed impossible... God made a way! He is a promiser by nature and he keeps every promise he makes! Maybe not exactly the way you think it should but that does not mean the promise is not kept and that he is not providing for you.

So this is what I am currently learning about God and his character as I take the next couple months to really tackle & read the whole word of God. I found myself, at 24 weeks along, wishing the days.. the weeks.. the months away... And as I look at the world that my daughter is being born into, I am reminded of the duty I have as a mother to really be prepared. No the crib is not set up, the PINK clothes are not hanging up, the diapers and the wipes are not accounted for, the blankets are not folded and ready for her to use... and no the nursery is... well its the same as it was before and it will be the same when she comes... I have not found myself very worried or busy with the THINGS the baby needs physically... but there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of what will be needed from me for the little girl emotionally, spiritually, and yes of course physically holding her and soaking up every piece of her :-)! I know that there really is so much I can do as a mom and only so much I can do to prepare to be a mom... but there are things I can be doing to prepare to be the best mom I can be. Oh the grace that I will need! I know I will fail at times to be an example to her of what it looks like to follow Christ... and I know I will fail to declare the word of God to her at times that it is necessary... but I can be making better use of each day I am given before she enters the world to try and learn now! So, that is my wish.. my plan for the next 85 days or so... to soak up the word of God and put it on my heart so that I can teach it to my daughter as the bible talks about in Deuteronomy 6

Verses 6:5-7

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them DILIGENTLY to your children, and shall talk about them when you SIT in your house, and when you WALK by the way, and when you LIE DOWN, and when you RISE.

Sounds like you have to teach these commands... ALL the time... exactly! How can I do that if I do not even know what the bible says.... if I do not have it planted in MY heart to grow and nourish and sustain my family! So I am really going to try and take advantage of the next 110 days to prepare spiritually for this little one! It is not about what I can do... but all about what the Holy Spirit is going to do in these days! I can read the word all I want but if the Holy Spirit is not working to convict, direct, encourage, instruct me as a wife... as a mother.. as a friend... than these next 85 days are done in vain! So, that is my prayer for this time... that the Lord would do his work in me! That he will reveal the weak areas of my life, the areas where sin is reigning... the places that need to be re-shaped and molded. Pray for me, will you? As I take on this challenge and opportunity! And may it encourage you as well, to re-evaluate your foundation in whatever role you are currently playing! Is it found on Jesus Christ and is this love letter written TO YOU, a part of keeping that foundation strong? Trust me! I have so failed in this area! So I am taking each day at a time... with one goal in mind!

This Is REALLY Happening!

I have been thinking a lot lately just about where the Lord has Andy and I right now! As the weeks progress in my pregnancy I am beginning to see and feel more every day! My body is continuing to change... especially now that I am apparently starting to produce what will one day sustain this little one... it is really beginning to hit me that I am going to be a mom by the close of the year! Which is nearing us ever so quickly!


Yes... Quickly! That I think is the thing that is on my mind most. I long for the weeks to go by and to be near the day that I get to hold my precious daughter (WOAH! First time I have referred to her as my daughter! A little wierd... but wonderful!). I was actually just talking to my mom today about the anticipation of her arrival! She was texting me about how when she looks at the ultrasound picture she cannot help but be overwhelmingly excited to meet her! I cannot agree more!! I so look forward to the day that I can snuggle her... smother her in kisses.. and attempt to teach her everything I know about being a female... a friend... a daughter... and most importantly & hopefully a follower of Christ! But at the same time... I am reminded of how much in the past I have wished my life away! The moments that I wished to be out of school and to finally to be in summertime! And then the moments of wishing I was out of high school... and then college. The moments I wished unemployment to be gone and to finally have a job... and then when I have a job... longing for the weekends to not have to work! Let me not forget to mention the moments that I wished my singleness would turn into being a girlfriend... fiance (even though I did not have to wait long at all to be a fiance! hehe)... and then wife... and now... a mommy! 


So, how much of this do I truly want to wish away!! I know that when she does enter this world... she is going to begin growing faster than I can soak up and I will look back on this day and wonder where it went! I am scared to watch her grow and learn... but also excited to have the honor to witness such an amazing thing! I know I will learn a lot from observing her live her life! But for now... do I have the patience to enjoy today!!!? Today is what the Lord has blessed me with!! What kind of steward am I being of this day that the Lord has given me? It is pretty convicting if you ask me! Who am I to cast aside today and tell God that this day is not important and does not have a purpose!! May I learn to cherish every kick, every pound put on(I say that lightly ;-)), every centimeter I grow to... may I celebrate what the Lord is doing TODAY! November will come faster than I can imagine... and it will quickly pass as well! And by the grace of God I will hold my daughter in 17 weeks (give or take) but for now may I cling to the moments of carrying her inside me!




Me at 23 Weeks 2 days:

22 Weeks down.. 18 More to Go!

So, just a quick update for you! Just got back from an appointment with my midwife!! Baby Girl is doing well!! Measuring right on! Her heart rate today was at around 142. We found out that everything measured right and looked perfect in the ultrasound!! Yay!! Also, my placenta is located in the front which is fine! Although... it does explain why I have not been feeling her as much now that she is not as low and is growing! I was feeling her, like I said in the previous posts, in the vaginal area and rear. I started to worry this week as I was not feeling her really at all anymore. The movements were so light in comparison to what they were, which is weird when she is getting bigger... but I have the placenta cushioning I guess! I am still feeling her.. but its pretty random. I feel kicks on the far sides of my belly! It is so weird! Hopefully one of these times Grandma Nancy will get to feel a good kick!! She has been waiting ever so patiently... I guess she will have to take it up with the boss(for now!!), her granddaughter... Earlier last week in the middle of my belly under my belly button I was feeling flips which was really neat! But not feeling those anymore... I can see movements and not feel them as well... which definitely made me think my placenta has to be in the front. So not an issue at all physically but mentally/emotionally nice to realize that is why things are the way they are!


People have been asking me if I have been collecting baby stuff and pink clothes! To be honest... I have nothing! Not really all that anxious to acquire stuff yet either! We have a crib accounted for but not present. We have her first gift she received, a blanket (shown in an earlier post). And last but not least, her first pack of cloth diapers. Yes that is right... I am going to be super ambitious and attempt to do cloth diapers... and I am pretty excited about it! When I got them in the mail I quickly text my mom to tell her that MY diapers arrived! I was reminded that the diapers are for the baby... bummer! haha! We have decided to go with the Flip System. One pack entails two covers and six inserts for just $49.95, which I find to be SUPER reasonable!! We figure we will probably need a total of 4 packs! So now that I have one because we wanted to just check them out and see if we want to go that route, we will register for the rest!

Here is what the cover looks like:

You are not able to see from this picture... but there are layers of snaps that enables you to snap the diaper to preferred size. Small, medium, or large. So I should be able to use this same cover from when we start until we potty train!


Here is a picture of the insert:

As you can see, there are creases in the insert and this enables you to fold the insert (small, medium, large) to fit the preferred size. Andy & I are thinking we will order separate newborn inserts to begin with so the diaper is not so bulky and then later use those for doubling inserts at night to prevent leaks.


Here is the structure of the diaper:





Very similar to a regular disposable diaper. Also, you can see the snaps better in this picture. Looks a bit complicated but it is really not at all!!


Here is the expected size ranges with the different snaps:



If you want to look into cloth diapering and the Flip System:


http://www.flipdiapers.com/flipsdday.php


I personally ordered mine from and recommend (I am also registering at this website because of how impressed I am with it!):


http://www.diapers.com/

Also, something for you all to be praying about is Andy and I are talking about me continuing to work until baby comes. We will see how it goes, but it will help physically with keeping me moving and in shape for when baby decides to come. It will keep me busy and not twiddling my thumbs and it will also help ease financial stuff in the mean time. So pray for wisdom for Andy and I as we try and figure out what is the best thing is to do for us and the baby in regards to work situations!

I hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July and have a wonderful week!! Yay for short work weeks!!!

The Lord's Work in the Womb

Well, we have officially seen our little one for the first time last Thursday! What an amazing experience that was! God is just so incredibly..well incredible! To see evidence of the faith I have had the last 16 weeks that the Lord is knitting someone together in there for Andy and I to raise and nurture in the truth of God's word and, Lord-willing, to love and serve the Lord, was just amazing!

We've got 10 finger! We've got 10 toes! We've got 4 chambers in the heart!! We have a lot to be thankful for with this little one! Throughout this pregnancy I have been continually reminded of God's grace! I have been reminded that this is not something I deserve... something I have worked for.. but a gift from my Father in heaven! Oh Lord, that you may have grace upon Andy & I as we raise this little one in the years to come! If SHE takes ONE thing from all that we teach HER.. may it be her need for you... her need for a Savior from HER wicked heart! As precious as this little one is.. and as perfect as SHE may seem... she is sinful and needs to be saved. So may she discover the love of Christ through the cross!

If you did not catch it in the last paragraph... we found out at our ultrasound that the Lord has seen it fit for us to have a little girl!!! YAY! Bring on the mini me! To be completely honest, Andy and I were(for some reason) surprised when we discovered it was a girl! We had so many people saying they were convinced that we were having a boy. I am trying to think if there was anyone that said they think it was a girl... if there was anyone.. it was only a few people! Andy is working though... "Oh man... another female in the house! Am I going to be able to handle this!?" Well, I guess the Lord has something he wants to do with this little girl and I know we will learn A LOT! 

How is the pregnancy going? Well, sickness and headaches are over for the meantime! Backaches are still happening. I already need a pillow behind my back whenever and wherever I sit! ALREADY! Work is going fairly well! I have my days but for the most part I am surviving. At this point, I am praying about when the Lord wants me to leave my job; aiming for end of July or August. Baby Hentges is doing very well! I think I am feeling her flip around a lot more now and not so much just tapping. Her heart rate was 149 at the ultrasound and she weighs about 12 oz at this point! (it is a few ounces more than what they say in the book at this time... so we will see if she will be a biggin!) She is pretty quiet actually... At the ultrasound her back was facing out so I am thinking that is why I am not feeling her very much... it made it very difficult to get a decent profile shot of her! We were there for at least an hour! I had to poke and prod her! She had her legs crossed and both her hands up by her face so she was being pretty shy at first! Later on she uncrossed and opened her hand for us for a quite a while! Thank you sweet little baby girl! I look so forward to feeling her more and one day smothering her is hugs and kisses! 

18 weeks

20 Weeks 2 days

Pray that our little girl continues to grow and develop to be a healthy baby and that she would one day know Jesus Christ as Lord! Also, pray for Andy and I as the Lord prepares us for the new season headed our way in 5 short months!

May you all have a blessed week!! Thank you for all your love and your prayers!

It's Not Over Until...

This morning I woke up to a lot of anxiety about pregnancy. It seems that there is always something to worry about! I have had many people get all wide-eyed at me when they find out that I am almost 18 weeks along and not showing much at all... much of it is still bloated belly-ness. So, with that said... this morning I woke up and just felt so flat and panicked a little as a result of that and going from feeling the baby a ton last week to not much at all this week. I know... I know... I have heard it all.. "this is your first" or "you must have had some strong abdominal muscles" or "it is not too uncommon to go to your 20 week check-up and still not be showing much"  or "baby must have shifted a little" so as much as I want encouragement... it still does not take away the thoughts that go through a future mother's mind. You always want to know that your baby is growing as it should and developing as it should. As I was getting ready to go meet with some lovely women who love the Lord, I knew I needed to clear my head a little bit. So I opened to Psalm 145 and this is what I found myself feeding off of...


Psalm 145:13-20
 "Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures throughout all generations. [The LORD is faithful in ALL his words and kind in ALL his works] The LORD upholds ALL who are falling and raises up ALL who are bowed down. The eyes of ALL look to you, and you give them their food in DUE SEASON. You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in ALL his ways and kind in ALL his works. The LORD is NEAR to ALL who call on him, to all who call on him IN TRUTH. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them. The LORD preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy."

The Lord showed up for me this morning!! He is faithful!!

Now, I want to break this down a little bit and share with you what encouraged me the most. First off, I apologize for being so full of worry.. so it appears... and as that is a true struggle. It is not a consuming thought all the time but when it does creep up... it brings me right back to where I need to be, on my knees(or I should say... when I am humbled and let go of the sin of worry and lay it down before the Lord)!! I can choose to focus on the worry/sin or I can choose to focus on the sustainer/God of Grace!

I loved how this scripture spoke to me! It was exactly what I needed to hear from the Lord today. In verse 13 when it says "the LORD is faithful in all his words" it reminded me of God's promises to his children. Everything the LORD says he will do... he does! I can rest in his promises, I can let go of the worry that likes to consume all because of what this verse is saying! He is faithful to what he says, which the whole Bible is the word of God and so.. we can cling to every promise and every command and every lesson taught in the book! Now do I always do this.. no.. but I can strive to remember his faithfulness every day and cling to every word He gives us!


 I listened to a sermon today by Dr. James MacDonald called "Grace When I am Overwhelmed" and he is talking about Jesus and the story of Lazarus in John 11. It was another amazing way God showed up today! One thing he said that really stuck out to me is "It's not over until Jesus says it's over!" How great is that!!!  This pregnancy is not over until Jesus says it's over! This life... is not over until Jesus says it's over! Why? Because of what verse 13 says... "the LORD is faithful in all his words!" He sustains until he says his sustaining this or that is over! In regards to the story in John 11. Mary and Martha are thinking their brother's life is over and are not overly happy with Jesus but she says something else to take note of... "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. BUT EVEN NOW I KNOW that whatever you ask from God, God will give you." In the end, the power rests in the Father's hand. Its not over... until he says its over! Lazarus, I am sorry to say... you may have been in Heaven with the Father... but its not over until Jesus says its over!


In that same verse in Psalm 145, verse 13... it also says "and kind in all his works!" I try to be very careful to not read too deep into something... as far as taking one word and running with it in my own interpretation... but for the sake of what I am struggling with... the wording hit me more when it used the word "kind" instead of "faithful." Now in no way am I saying that God is not faithful in his works... because he SO is but when we are struggling to understand why things happen... it is easier to comprehend the Lord being faithful in his words and kind in his works. The word "kind" really stuck out to me... it seemed that faithful should be there but I find it interesting God says kind instead. When we do not understand why things happen and do not grasp the faithfulness of God at that time.. we still need to remember he is kind in what he is doing! It may not seem faithful... but we better not forget God's kind(even though he is kind AND faithful). When we remember he is kind in what he is doing we can not help but remember his faithfulness. Make sense? In the sermon I heard today MacDonald said "what appears unloving may be God's GREATEST kindness." See how I could be so excited about this! What the Lord was telling me early was so reaffirmed for me in this sermon!


Verse 15. "You(The LORD) give them their food in due season." God is not late or early in keeping his promises! He is right on time! When we are in the right season and food is due.. then it is given... not before... not after!


All these verses contain great wisdom and encouragement... but for time's sake I am going to move down to verse 20. "The LORD preserves all who love him!." Back in John 11, talked about in that sermon, the disciples are trying to remind Jesus that he can not go back to where Lazarus is, in Judea, because the Jews are wanting to stone him. Jesus's response was this, "Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles because the light is not in him." Simply saying this, that as long as he is in the light, in the LORD's will(which lets face it... Jesus was always in his father's will because he is perfect!!) nothing can stop him. You walk in the darkness... you will stumble... you walk in the light... you will not stumble. 


I am very blessed by a very special friend of mine, the beautiful Cassie Deputie! We have been through a lot together! And I have had the honor of watching the Lord work and refine her so much over the past 5 years or so! She is completely dependent on the Lord! Not that I am proclaiming she is perfect... but pretty dang close! (hehe I love you Man!) But there was one thing that she said to me that really has been encouraging me through this pregnancy and I have been able to use this to encourage others in different situations from mine and yet it still applies! She said "Remember, nothing touches you that had not passed through the Father's hand!" I have really been trying to remind myself of that often as I know I forget who I serve and the power He has! Is he not SO big that NOTHING can touch me that has not gone through him first!!!? Oh Praise God and his Grace! Praise Him and His faithfulness!! What would I be... what would you be... without him!!? May I NEVER know!!!!


Pray for me as I have my next appointment a week from today and will hopefully then receive my slip to FINALLY see my little one in an ultrasound!!! May all go well and may I rest in his peace instead of being anxious for the days to pass! Also, please just pray for our marriage! Just working through some things right now! :-)

At ALL times!

This is a verse that has been continually working on me for many months now!

Psalm 34:1

I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth!

I want this verse to be applied every day of myself and I so often forget it and choose to dwell on other things. The LORD is so worthy of all glory, honor and praise!! I needed this reminder the last few days to get back on track. As I was looking for this verse I also ran across another one that was very similar and something I really need to start living by!

Psalm 19:14

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.

As you may of picked up from my last post I have been kind of feisty and weighted down lately. I am now 16 weeks 5 days along in my pregnancy and feeling pretty good physically but emotionally have not been doing as well. I have been very emotional for really no reason and very resentful and angry for really no reason as well. I am praying that this is just a huge hormonal transition period and that there is not more going on. I have really been struggling in my marriage to love my husband and serve him with a joyful heart. I have struggled to really be able to express to him what it is that is going inside of me.. which leaves him feeling frustrated and confused. I am so grateful for his patience with me!!! He has grown so much since we got married just a little over a year ago and I praise God for the work that he has been doing in Andy! So if you could be praying for me as I work through this little bump in the road I would really appreciate it. I am not sure if it is a pregnancy thing or a spiritual thing or both...


As I was just sharing with you about this struggle I am facing... I was reminded of a sermon and book I read by Dr. James MacDonald with Walk in the Word called "Why Trials."

James 1:2-4

Count(press your mind down upon) it all joy, my brothers when you meet(fall into) trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness(endurance, ability to remain under). And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

For me.. what I am going through.. is not really a trial but it is definitely God  is refining me. Praise God for that!! I am not really suffering right now... but sometimes I think our emotions and attitudes can be considered a trial(in a personal sense and not in a external/physical sense). I have been richly blessed and fortunate to say that the trials in my life are tiny in comparison to what some people go through. This is not to say that it has done any more or less work in my heart then what some serious trials do in other people's hearts. God works in many ways and situations!

Anyways, what I am trying to get at is... I really liked something MacDonald brought to light on in this scripture. He talks about steadfastness, which can also be considered endurance, and he brings out the Greek word for endurance to bring a clearer understanding to these verses. The word in the Greek is hupomone and actually comes from two words--the word meaning remain, and the word meaning under. What a beautiful picture that is. The trials we are are facing--whether physical or emotional-- put pressure on us and weigh down on us more and more and more with each passing day. BUT GOD supplies us the strength to withstand the pressure instead of running from that trial(no matter how big or small). He sustains us and enables us to REMAIN UNDER it! I am reminded of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and the fiery furnace and how the Lord sustained them in that furnace and was WITH THEM! 

I know that whatever is going on, I must remain under it and know that the Lord is with me! I need to stop throwing a fit, hands in the air, storming off to the bedroom(for my sake and for my husbands sake). I must remain under and fight with the sword of God whatever is weighing down on me... whether it be simply spiritual, body changes hormonally, whatever it is! I have so much to Praise my Father for!!

Baby Hentges seems to be doing well!! I believe I may have started feeling my little one as early as 2 weeks ago but was not really aware of it at the time. I am not 100% sure on what I am feeling... but if it is my baby... he/she sure likes car rides, his/her daddy (thankfully, we would hope that would be the case no matter what! hehe), and likes food! The first time I really considered whether what I was feeling was the baby or not was two weeks ago(Monday the 9th) when I was driving home from Arizona. I felt a pretty strong tapping going on in my lower abdomen(from my view--Left side). So like I said... Baby likes car rides! It was just a very treasured moment for me because I was driving... Andy was asleep... the sun was setting and it was just very peaceful(this has nothing to do with Andy sleeping) in the way the whole thing played out! Just mommy and baby bonding! I have felt it a few times more... late last week I was not feeling all that great so I did have a lot of gas cramps and could not decipher between the two but since then I think I can definitely tell the difference between the baby and my digestive system! Sometimes I am feeling this down in my lower lower abdomen.. almost feeling as if it is coming from my vaginal area.. obviously not the case but the baby must have been putting some pressure on my cervix or something. I went shoe shopping this weekend(for all these wedding coming up) with my mother and I had to tell baby to be a little more gentle because it was causing this twitching sensations almost. Baby must already be getting on my nerves.. HAHA! (Sorry for the babbling... this is more for me so I have it recorded :-)) Now I am feeling the baby more in the center under my belly button... almost favoring the right side. Which might explain why I have been a little sore in my abdomen over the weekend.. things must be shifting or something!! So overall things are going really well!! Next appointment is June 7th and hopefully we will receive the go ahead for our ultrasound and will know within the following weeks of my next appointment whether Baby Hentges is a boy or girl!!!!

I really do not enjoy showing baby bump photos... just cause I don't know whether to smile or not include my face or what... but I have many friends who are going away for the summer and family living across the U.S. and want to keep them updated :-) Plus, it has been very helpful for me to see other people's picture and what they looked like when they were at each point in their pregnancy so now I hope it is helpful to others. So I figured.. why not!

16 weeks 1 day

One last, quick story! I had a very special other moment with Baby Hentges this weekend but this time it involved Andy(making it more special)! We were at my parents house watching a movie and Andy came into the house and plopped down on the couch next to me. He laid down with is head on my side and his arm across my belly. I noticed something as we sat there... He had his hand pressed against one side of my belly! It just totally warmed my heart!! It was the first time I had really seen Andy initiate like that! It was just a precious moment for our little family! I loved having him feel my belly in anticipation of bonding with his precious baby too!! He is going to make a fantastic Dad!! I can not wait for him to be able to touch my belly and really get to feel the baby move... and I look forward to seeing to look on his face when he sees that baby at our ultrasound... and I smile at the thought of seeing him hold our precious little one for the first time!! He is going to be amazing!! He is amazing!! :-) Lord, THANK YOU for providing me with such an amazing husband!! Thank you for your saving grace that I may experience the joy of a child in the way that you intended!! ... in marriage... and with an amazing man to love his children and lead them!! May you be glorified above ALL else!!! "Not to us but to your name be the glory!"